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The concept of Chronology was created by Them as part of Their dirty tricks campaign and their web of lies and deceit. It should be avoided at all costs, but, just in case you can't resist the dirty dirty temptation it poses, the chronology of everything is below. As Sir Thomas Moore once said of historical events "If it ain't on the list, it don't exist."

  • 480 bc Battle of Salamis.
  • 1066 Nun Bunting was banned, The Alphabet was invented.
  • 1423 The Great War
  • 1709 The Dance Dance Revolution occurred.
  • 1880 A Galaxy Far Far Away was actually in our own backyard
  • 1942 Hitler bore a baby named Jehovah Shmorgisborgh
  • 1954 Elvis Presley invented rock and roll
  • 1964 The Beatles invent rock and roll again
  • 1974 Disco kills rock and roll
  • 1984 The President says it's okay to be a fucking greedy racist
  • 2005 Oprah's rise to power
  • 2015 The return of the Jackson 5
  • 2022 The Great Battle of the Great 5 and Oprah begins
  • 2036 Elvis is found frozen in a freezer belonging to Tom Cruise
  • 2045 69 is discovered to be a sign of Satan
  • 2056 The Battle of the Great 5 and Oprah comes to a stop, Oprah rises victorious
  • 2098 Oprah gives birth to Satan's child, Santa Thomas Devine
  • 3000 Oprah's rise to power halt's when a young man-monkey rape's and murders her
  • 3024 The Human race is diminished and the cock roaches reign all powerful
  • 3046 A mass amound of Jews are discovered living in a cave where Jesus was crusified
  • 3953 The Battle of the Jews and Cock Roaches destroy's the home that we know as earth