Church of the Gay Bar

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Church of the Gay Bar was founded in the year 1666 by the dinosaur Zell Miller as a way for homosechsuls to get their freak on while enjoying a nice day at church. Reportedly, the Church is now undergoing a merging with Budding Drag-Queens of Sanctimonious Moaning (BDSM).

Current Clergy of Church of the Gay Bar[edit]

That Guy Who’s Higher than the Pope: Zell Miller

Presiding Pope: Rush Limbaugh (regnal name: Pope Oxycontin XIV)

Head Gimp: Tony Blair

Arch-Bartender: Henry Rollins (just don’t ask him to do karaoke)

Go-Go Dancers: Karl Rove, Dick Cheney, Supply-side Jesus

Those Butch Lesbians Who Go to the Wrong Bar: Gale Norton, Condoleezza Rice, Margaret Thatcher, Ann Coulter, Bill Gates

Creedo of Church of the Gay Bar[edit]

We worship the One True Politic, Conservatism. We believe in the One True Power, Zell Miller and his irresistible cock. Republican politics respects basic human and constitutional rights. We are also the first politico-religion. Our followers are rednecks and white trash descended from the royal blood of Yetis and bottles of beer. They also mated with The Bill of Rights and fucked The Bible. In this, we have derived the magical power to manipulate both to our ends.

Homophobes beware, BITCHES!!!