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Clag is the multi-purpose glue made out of flour and childrens tears that is the staple food of kindergarten students and grues. The Hoover dam is made out of Clag and special K.

Though Clag appears to be a white goo-like substance it is actually dark matter and is all the colours of the rainbow, even oreen and vioange. It was originally designed as a pesticide to eradicate children during the toddler massacres of 1973, it's effects on the kindegardener population were similar to that of Playdough and napalm.


There are never ending uses for Clag, it can be used to build space stations (Nasa was going to use Clag however spent all its funding on bannanas for the monkeys), Clag can also be your best friend. Clag is useful for the destruction of mankind and the desolation of the universe as well as arts and crafts. Clag can also be drafted into the NFL as an up and coming rookie with its whole life ahead of it. The uses of clag are only limited to your imagination and how long you can last until the Clag consumes you.

WARNING: Even looking at Clag may kill you

Clag Defict Disorder[edit]

This frightening diease occurs when the body has not had the recommended 2.5 liters of Clag a day. Symptoms inculde vomiting, addiction to Sesame Street, lack of major body fuctions (eg. liver falls out) and occasionally traveling through time. If left untreated you may end up as That guy. A lack of Clag ingestion will cause death and any Clag ingestion will cause death.

"C'mon, have a drink of it, its totally safe"-Last words of a Clag ingester

Clag and noobs[edit]

Since the beginning of time noobs have sought Clag as a way to achieve 1337 or 133715M however as soon as the sweet Clag hits the noobs lips the noob will ethier die by being team killed to death or the noob will become a grue. Clag is an active member of xbox live and is renknowned for its ability to teabag noobs under heavy fire. Clag will destroy you at any given moment or opportunity.

A typical Clag addict

Did you know?[edit]

  • That clag is a popular alternative to peanut butter?
  • If it wasn't for Clag we would have USB cables as thumbs?
  • Before filming Oprah eats 3 litres of Clag?
  • Clag can be used as a contraceptive device?
  • Clag is Albert Einsteins fetish?
  • That clag is harvested from fields, similar to Indonesian rice paddies?
  • That Jesus was stuck to the cross with clag?(the Bible blows it out of proportion)
  • If enough clag is ingested, followers of Clagology believe the ultimate plane of existence can be achieved (known as Clagdom). Others say it increases chances of constipation.
  • In some Incan cultures, Clag is considered a God? just like Mel Gibson?
  • That the Clag article here in Uncycolpedia is bigger than the clag article in wikipedia?

Clag, also a substance that is used to coat steel prior to Fagot welding in a smelted billet.