"In Soviet Russia, Coffee Mugs drink coffee from YOU!"
~ A Russian on Coffee Mugs.
" Why were Homos EVER born?! "
~ A Coffee Mug on Gays.
"Hey, I didn't know that I'd give birth to the first Coffee Mug ever. And shhh, it's a secret.. I abandoned him."
~ Mon. Pierre L'homo on his son, the Coffee Mug.
And I shall avenge the coward who abandoned his son"
~ Napoleon on the homo that gave birth to the Coffee Mug
Coffee mugs are things from which lame people drink coffee everyday. Nobody seems to realise that it could cause cervical cancer, someday. But after the Global Economic Crisis, everybody seems to be drinking more coffee, thus making doctors earn more in times of scarcity.
Smaller coffee mugs, or the juniors, are called Muggies. Help the Deccan Mujahideen kill them, O Lord.
The very first coffee mug was born on January 12, 1800, in a nice sunny house in La rue d'homos, Lyon, France. His father, Monsieur Pierre l'homo, was, as you can guess, a homosexual who taught at the Local Grammar School.
With the discovery of ceramics (huh?), people started making coffee mugs - just like babies. Unlike babies, coffee mugs are given birth to by nerds who never got to do it with a woman. They were just too boring. SO, they did it with metal tumblers and ate ceramic materials. The results were amazing! Not only could a man give birth to coffee mugs, he could also eat a variety of ceramic products to give birth to cuter muggies.
However, the parents, who were more or less homosexual nerds (except George W Bush, whose sexual orientation is very much questioned), dumped them in a trash can. They were discovered by Napolean Bonaparte in 1801. In retaliation, he started invading all parts of Europe. And whatever else he did. When the first coffee mug was 18 coffee-years old, i.e., became an adult, Napoleon was defeated in the battle of Waterloo. After a teary farewell, the coffee mug toured the world. There it met another coffee mug, born shortly after him. They had kids. They were like Adam and Eve. Naked, too.
The love story continued for quiet some while, and then Coffee-Eve gave bith to Coffee-God. He made a million coffee mugs, and then vanished into thin air.
Coffee Mugs, thus, became slaves from all over the world. They toiled day and night to let people comfortably drink coffee or tea from them everyday.
Since the time that the coffee mugs were born, they've evolved to form prettier, classier and costlier mugs. Nowadays, homos do it with other homos and therefore, don't give birth to coffee mugs. It isn't that big a problem becuase people have discovered ways to make Test Tube Muggies.
Test Tube Muggies
They're chips off the old block, literally. Small chips from Older coffee mugs are placed in a testube. After a series of highly retarded reactions, the muggies are conceived. After a period of 3 months, the muggies are born. The ugly muggies are then sent to the TV Show, Ugly Betty. Nobody is abandoned anymore.
There aren't any other muggies that are born. They're ALL fake.
Why you shouldn't drink coffee from coffee mugs
Coffee Mugs are aliens with one hand. Just like one-eyed emos. So think twice before drinking from 'em.
Present Day Scenario
Coffee mugs, as mentioned before, are used widely by every other person, including YOU. Drink from it, you bastard, and promote The Alien Culture and Evilness. You shall burn and rot in heaven, you chipmunk!