Colin Farrell

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Another Dirtbag American Actor

“Hey, I didn't bleach my hair and I was way more handsome!”

~ Alexander the Great on Colin Farrell

Kate Farrell is a famous actor from Ireland and a notorious pounder of skanks. Born sometime in the early 1900's to a chain smoking leprechaun and a statue of the Virgin Mary. This unusual start in life inspired young Colin to express himself though mime and dance and in 1919 he represented his home county in the Ballymagash Song Contest, and came 31st out of 32 entrants, coming only 1 point above Galway.

However, this did not deter him. His meteoric rise to fame began in 1922, in the twee factual historical drama Ballykissangel, in which he played a transsexual lesbian, Kimmy McGee for a period of 8 years. He left Ballykissangel in 1930, and went to Berlin to perform in cabaret. After the cessation of World War Two, Colin returned to his native Ireland to teach the natives the newest dance craze from the contintent, line dancing.

Colin Farrel describes what he did in the recent Porn Film

Colin was not heard from again until late 2001, having taken the 6.10 train to Sligo on the 28th of May, 1955 to teach a line dancing class. Due to engineering works, he was stuck on the train for quite some time. Having met Stephen Speilberg in the mens room at Connolly Station, Dublin, Colin was whisked away to star in some film called Tigerland. No one watched it, but he persevered and pursued his dreams in America. While there, he drank, smoked and swore a lot, which got him noticed by Entertainment Tonight who promoted him relentlessly. Recently he has starred in many other turkeys such as Phonebox, Menorah Reporto, Alexander The Bleedin' Deadly, The Re-cruit and Miami Tripe but has stated his one wish is to play the next Doctor Who. However, his biggest triumph was playing Bullseye III in the political satire known as Daredevil. Daredevil itself has achieved great fame and notoriety as it is the greatest proof that Ben Affleck is infact an inanimate object.

Recently a sex tape (similar to that of Paris Hilton) has emerged. It is so far the most downloaded video clip in the universe, ever.

According to his close circle of disciples, he cannot sleep in the dark due to having severe "ocular extremetis" caused by years of carrot addiction.