Colon

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Colons are great. You would be full of shit without one

“A very punctual student”

~ English teacher on Colon

“You're an arse”

~ Student on English teachers trying to be funny

Origins[edit]

The colon is a major internal organ found in humans, tadpoles, and some other mammals. It is unclear whether mammals developed a colon or if the colon developed them as a transportation method.It may be unclear where it came from but it seems the goverment today were formed from it.

Location and Appearance[edit]

The colon is found in the right quadrant of the upper chamber of the northerly region of the lower half of the upper torso. The colon is a long organ, perhaps as long as the bit of wire that connects a telephone handset to the rest of the telephone, but not as long as a snake. It is yellowish-grey in colour, with tinges of lilac at the ends.

Function[edit]

The colon connects the ass, the spleen, and the pink drippy thing directly to the brain. It serves an important job as the centre for transcontinental-euphoria, where nutrients and e-numbers are separated prior to being put back together in a subtly different way. Its primary function, however, is the spheroidal alliteration of bi-pepsi nuances in a cupcake-flavour saturated manifold. Without this, you would surely die.

Current market value[edit]

The colon is an unattractive organ, and failure is relatively uncommon (excepting feltchers), so the current market value is a little less than three Australian goats.

See Also[edit]