Combine Soldier

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"These Soldiers remind me of those Storm Troopers from Star Wars. But these guys are everywhere! After the Ravenholm chapter, I COULDN'T STOP SEEING THEM! These guys are sometimes royal piss-offs. When I was on my way to White Forest, they started comming out in Shotgunner models! At least I know what to kill first."

Doctor Mossman on Combine Soldiers:

"Well to tell the truth there is a Combine Soldier I am in love with. Steve the Combine Soldier. He looks like any other Soldier so I can't really tell who is who, I hope I didn't kill him!!!!!" :O

Combine Soldier[edit]

Combine Soldier

Combine Soldiers are cool looking Alien Troopers from a different universe. After the Ravenholm chapter they were EVERYWHERE! Thats because they are tougher than weak ol Metrocops, who have space AIDS.


  • Blue Goggles
  • Black Protective african
  • Gray Protective Armor
  • Anti-Hazardous Boots
  • Radio
  • Extra Ammo
  • Squeaky Toy
  • Dildo


  • Overworld (Human Synths)
  • Earth (Modified Humans)
  • Disneyland (Off duty)

Books they were in[edit]

  • Half-Life 2: "We Don't Go To Ravenholm..." (only ending), Highway 17, Sandtraps, Anticitizen One, "Follow Freeman!", Our Benefactors, Dark Energy, Lost Coast.
  • Episode One: Undue Alarm, Dirrect Intervention, Urban Flight, Exit 17.
  • Episode Two: Freeman Pontifex, Riding Shotgun, Under The Radar, Our Mutual Fiend.
  • Episode Three: N/A
  • Twilight N/A
  • Lord of the Rings: Special appearance in Mordor.

Mods they may or may not be in[edit]


Skype ID[edit]



150% + 50 More If not Spawned In Battle

Combine Prison Rapist[edit]

Combine Prison Rapist in his gimp suit

Combine Prison Rapist is the same as regular Combine Soldiers except for the equipment, chapters, mods, books, ability of rape, social status, criminal record etc. It has the same Skype ID but it won't call the rapist because The Game hates you. These guys are really suppose to be only seen in Nova Prospekt but some mod idiots think they are in other places. Usualy these guys could be great Combine Commanders!


  • Yellow Goggles
  • Blue Protective Armor
  • Anti-Hazardous Boots
  • Extra Ammo
  • Black Protective Helmet
  • Extra-Squeaky Squeaky Toy
  • Vibrating dildo

Books they were in[edit]

Half-Life 2: Sandtraps, Nova Prospekt, Entaglenment.

Mods they may or may not be in[edit]

  • Rotton Attic
  • Combine Sex-tiny
  • The Citizen that died

Combine Cumgunner[edit]

Combine Cumgunner

The Combine Cumgunner is a Combine Soldier that holds a Cumgun (Called a shotgun on earth), hurrrr! Who doesn't know Combine Cumgunners hold cumguns, maybe the Cumgunners themselves (They think it's their arm). Their armor is a Light Gray, and has orange goggles. So far only seen in Episode Two. It is also noted that they have an Elite Insignia on their arm patch,and they are a special branch of the Elite. They also tend to appear out of thin air when you least expect it, resulting in a FACE full of CUMSHOT to the FACE. 'nuff sed. They like Trance music.


  • Cumgun (Shotgun) (will fuck you up)
  • Rage
  • Magic


  • Black Protective helmet
  • Blood Red/Orange Goggles
  • Light Grey Protective Armor
  • Arm patch with Elite Insignia
  • A RooR steam roller
  • A kilogram of high grade kush (Give or take 1.999999999995 grams)
  • Extra ammo
  • Anti-Hazardous Boots
  • Radio
  • 14 tabs of LSD
  • Magic wand
  • Kleenex ultra pack

He is a highly valued type of soldier in the combine.

Books they were in[edit]

Episode Two: Riding (Shotgun), Under The Radar, Our Mutual Fiend.

Combine Camper[edit]

Combine Camper in his ultimate form

Combine Camper are living windows with a blue laser beam coming out of it. When this laser detects the player or friendly NPCs some kind of super-mega-huge-amount-of-damage-causing-energy bullet flies out of the window. When this super-mega-huge-amount-of-damage-causing-energy bullet makes physical contact with the player, it will cause a large amount of damage, and if the Gordon's health is too low, death. Because NPCs are not wearing HEV suits and are not as awesome as Gordon, they are usually killed by a single blow from the super-mega-huge-amount-of-damage-causing-energy bullet. To defeat a Combine Camper, the player must toss a grenade or fire a RPG into the window. Once it detonates, a Combine Soldier will tumble out of the window, which is the Combine Camper's way of saying:

"Okay, you got me, I give up. I'll just go home now. Actually I think I might go out tonight. What's that? Your're NOT going out tonight? Oh yes I forgot you're a complete fucking geek who just plays on your PC all day and night aren't you?! I bet you've never even gotten laid!"

Gordon responds by saying:

"Oh oh I have! Mostly with girls. God I sooooo wanna bang Alyx. She's hot. Not like you. Yeah, suck on that, you blue line bitch!"

This response however is inaudiable due to the fact that Gordon Freeman is the only person in the Universe who uses the silent Gordonspeak language. In Half-Life 2: Episode Two it is revealed that the Blue Laser actually emanates from a SNIPER RIFLE!!! BET YOU DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING!!! Ahem. Of course, like in Episode One, the player is not worthy enough to use this awesome looking gun despite the fact that he is a messiah-like figure and saviour to the entire planet; only Alyx and is allowed to use it. Perhaps if Gordon were able to speak he might actually ask can he PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE use the gun for a minute. But no, he has to make do with a Crossbow.

Books they were in[edit]

  • Half-Life 2: "We Don't Go To Ravenholm...", "Follow Freeman!".
  • Episode One: Urban Flight, Exit 17.
  • Episode Two: Freeman Pontifex (even though it's alyx, if you spawn a citizen, she'll kill him/her). :(

Skype ID:[edit]



  • Combine Sniper Rifle. (Well duh. What did you expect? A nuclear kitten?)

Combine Elitist[edit]

Combine Elitist

Combine Elitists are the tough little bastards. Combine Elitists are white with one ball (like conservatives). Combine Elitists are the toughest Combine Soldiers so far. It has the same Skype ID but just like the Prison Rapist, it doesn't call them, because they are Elitists. When you shoot these funny mofos, if they are high enough, they'll drop their ball right onto the damn floor. They have a tendency to smoke A LOT of weed while on the job. They like Trance music and will kick you in the balls if given the opportunity. They will also try to steal one of your balls when you are dead.


  • Overwatch Standard Issue Pulse Rifle (with energy "BALLS")


  • One big goggle
  • White Protective Armor and Helmet
  • Radio
  • Extra Ammo and Balls
  • Anti-Hazardous Boots
  • Anti-Hazardous Balls
  • Lifetime support of duct tape, parcel tape, double sided tape and inter dimensional tape.
  • Super-Sqeaky-Toy (x2)
  • B-C bud with glass bowl
  • A fukton of high grade kush
  • 14 tabs of LSD
  • A kitten to huff
  • A KFC chicken bowel

Books they were in[edit]

  • Half-Life 2: Nova Prospekt, Entaglement, Anticitizen One, "Follow Freeman!", Our Benefactors, Dark Energy, Lost Coast.
  • Episode One: Undue Alarm, Direct Intervention, Urban Flight, Exit 17.
  • Episode Two: Freeman Pontifex, Under The Radar, Our Mutual Fiend.

Mods they may or may not be in[edit]

  • Combine Sex-tiny
  • MINVERVA's sexy time
  • The Citizen that died

Screenshots of Combine for teh lulz[edit]

The games of Valve
Half-Life · Half-Life 2 · Gordon Freeman · Alyx Vance · G-Man · Gordon Frohman · Combine Soldier
Portal · Portal 2 · Film · GLaDOS
Left 4 Dead
Left 4 Dead · Left 4 Dead 2