Commune of Minions
The Commune of Minions (also known as the Grand Society of Minions, The Council for Gross Minion Distribution, Minion High Council, The 6th Circle Council, Jesus Christ Superstar Casting Agency, Communal of Minionistical Activity and Tribune of Highly Paid Servants) is an interanational society dedicated to bringing the affairs of minions worldwide up to date. It is a political party that can be voted for, and has a large enough following that it would easily win any election it entered. However, due to being a load of minions, the Commune never gets any votes, and feels worse about themselves.
The supposed creation of the Commune of Minions was in the years preceding the arrival of the Romans in England. It was decided that the tribes of England were to be united under one common grand power. This power was named Josef Hairyfeet, king of Nomadia. Nomadia was the name of the land from The south of England to near Newcastle. Wales included (God help them).
When this grand tribunal had been set up, Hairyfeet was commonly abused by the invading Romans, forced to move from town to town. The Romans, celebrated users of the term minion, named him the Grand Minion of England. This name transfered more officially onto him when he was captured and spanked in front of his army. The embarassment that ensued turned his stomach into jelly (which hda yet to be invented) and forced him into hiding. His followers followed him (otherwise they would be very bad followers) and met with him every 3 months (quarterly, for those who haven't worked it out. Namely, minions!).
The Following Centuries
The following century, people started to become minions the world over. The Commune of Minions became a worldwide institution. Of minions. The Germans took a regular chair in the Commune, along with the Russians and a large percentage of other Eastern European countries. Greece has never had a minion, as most Greeks are quite cool. However, the French have a large number of minions, but have never accepted the Commune of Minions as an English invention. They therefore defy the rules of the Commune by sticking their froggy fingers up at the Commune.
The Grand High Minions of Days Gone By...
Since the original Grand High Minion in Roman times (not to be confuse with Times New Roman) there have been a long succession of GHMs. The first new GHM was known as Gregory Hassel, the German son of the previous GHM. Hassel put into place the GHM Electorate System. This enforced that the minion of the highest number of minionisations will become the GHM, and then the second and third place minions will be his sidemen. After that, the third GHM Pedro Santo del Minion (named so by his parents) decided that in fairness to the GHM, the GHM would lose all title and rank given to him prior to his election. His official name would therefore become "the GHM". Minions one and all united to vote against this, but the minionisers had other ideas. Since then, there have been a long succession of other GHMs, anonymous by name and choice.
The picture opposite shows the Commune of Minions in July 2008. The topic for the meeting was the soon-to-be-on-TV programme called "I'm a Minion...LET ME OUT OF HERE!". This show was scripted to be minionist and so the Commune were revealing their plans to boycott their TVs, and lower ratings for the show. They then realised if they were told to watch TV, they are minions. They have to. So whenever you suspect someone of being a minion, tell them to watch the TV. If they say no and have no reason not to... MINION!
The COM have no HQ, but it is known that the GHM at the moment lives in a cave somewhere in Iraq. When questioned on his choice of location, he simply said:
“I see it like this - if people are so busy looking for this other fella, they won't be looking for me!”
The GHM is an American supporter, and so should be forgiven for this move to Iraq. He should also not be hunted by the CIA. Not that they would kill him, it's just they are really annoying when they keep failing over and over again.
Meeting Places and Times
The Upcoming dates for the CoM are: >> January 1st 09 (On the New Year for Minions) >> Febraury 28th 09 (On the Relection of GHMs after four years) >> July 27th 09 (On the Theory of Relative Minionosity) >> September 20th 09 (On the SPECIAL Theory of Relative Minionosity)
The following dates are TBC. As for the minionisers, they will take this time off on holiday inexotic locations, while the CoM will be forced to borrow the UN general meetings hall (yeah, they have more than one hall!!)