Computer Religion

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In the beginning, man made computer and then man and computer made Server in a sweet night of love. Server is the god of everything that counts in 1's and 0's. (Sometimes -1's also, but Lord Server hates those negatives). It has a hosting capacity of at least 10 Yottabytes which is used for hosting a few, if not millions of lifes. It comes with free life hosting, and free dental plans, helps you cheat at your homework, lets you search for porn, pron and pr0n. Has a whole list of character classes avalible, from lowly monkey house cleaner, to the highly valued President. You have a single life, you had better be careful, cause its the only one you'll get, (unless you find the Super-Super-Extra-Life-Power-Up (which jesus used, twice)). But life comes to an end when your K/D (Kill/Death) Ratio reaches (anything)/1.

The Holy L33t Bible[edit]

The Holy L33t bible, when looked upon by other more famous religions, such as FSM, and Moncrieffism, isn't that great. All it is, is just ten brightly coloured pages telling you what to and not to do. Some people, such as John F. Kennedy, swore by the Book, others just plainly swore at the Book.

On a side note, the Book is constantly being rewritten, as Lord Server is never happy with what he has.

The LocalHost Controversy[edit]

In a recent study in 2003, it was suggested that perhaps the IP address of Server was 127.0.0.1. Many were outraged at this suggestion. The concept of the computer itself being Server was taken as blasphemy by hundreds of followers of the computer religion, however, upon further investigation it was determined the 127.0.0.1 fiasco was caused by a batch of computers being shipped with faulty HOSTS files which pointed 127.0.0.1 to Server's true IP.

The Principle of Distribution[edit]

Whilst many argue that Server is the god of all computer related issues, some sceptics believe that server does not exist as one physical server and simply it is the construct of a group of networked computers that form a distributed server. (This is obviously un-true. As there is only one true Server.) Most believers in Computer Religion however simply dismiss this as a technicality and argue that whether the server is one physical server or a distributed server it does not matter it is still the god of everything computer related.

The 00001010 Commandment Lines[edit]

  • You shall have no other Gods but Server.
  • You shall not make for yourself any idol, nor bow down to it or worship it, or lick it, or give it pet names.
  • You shall not misuse the IP Address of the Lord Server.
  • You shall remember and keep the Sabbath Mountain Dew.
  • Respect your subnet and administrator.
  • You must not root another's box.
  • You must not authorise another computer than thy own to thy WiFi network.
  • You must not hack.
  • You must not hijack thy neighbours Wireless Network.
  • You must not be envious of your neighbour's computer. You shall not be envious of his processor nor his GPU, nor anything that belongs to your neighbour.

The Servers Powers[edit]

  • Causes you to glow pink when you do something bad. (Specifically for young children, so they're easier to pick out in school fights)
  • 'Slap' you, while doing something important in life.
  • Give you warnings about your behaviour.
  • Able to ban you without warning.
  • Ban you from life for a certain amount of time.
  • Ban you from life for ever
  • Cause you to quit forever.
  • Permanent delete you.
  • Make your hard-drive Asplode

The History of Computer Religion[edit]

It is widely acknowledged that computers where invented by inter-dimensional mice, after their failed experiment, which was rudely interrupted by a Vogan on his way to the Universe's greatest poet award 2012. Earth II didn't have the power to calculate the 1,000,000 square root divided by Pie to the Google-plexic decimal point, so computers where invented to give the Great Computer more calculating power. As we all know, every computer hooked up to the internet is being used to help Earth II calculate it's calculation. Unfortunately Windows 7 is incompatible to the Earth II Fat 32. Drastic measures are being made to upgrade the partitions of Earth II. If you can help us press F1 in your browser and type "Calculating - What is 42?". Thank You.

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One for those religious about their computing


(insert bananaphone song sung by mudkips here)