Constructive criticism is an insult disguised as an "observation". It is a horribly disguised insult though. So horribly disguised that if it were a Halloween costume it would be a mask in the form of you. Basically, it is an insult. A subtle insult, yes, but still an insult, no matter how subtly the insult is spoken.
Examples of Constructive Criticism
- Joe: "What did you think of the song?"
- Bob: "Can I give you some constructive criticism?"
- Joe: "Sure"
- Bob: "It sounded like a dying cat"
Politicians often use constructive criticism when they insult other politicians on the basis that they have shagged fewer fat back-benchers than the first politician. This allows the country to run smoothly while keeping its priorities in good order.
Constructive vs Conservative Criticism
Constructive criticism should not be confused with conservative criticism. Conservative criticism would be criticism from a conservative point of view. For instance, if Joe and Bob were talking about the nobel peace prize they might say this:
That would be conservative. The same conversation from a constructive standpoint would go like this:
- Joe: "Did you hear that President Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize?"
- Bob: "For what?"
- Joe: "His first 11 days in office."
The Famous Incident of Constructive Criticism
The most famous example of constructive criticism occurs towards the final stages of Lord of the Rings, where Gollum calls Sam "the fat hobbit", thus reminding him of his weaknesses while leaving in the positive comment of being "fat". This ultimately ended when Sam used his "fat" to shield Frodo from the eye of Sauron so that Frodo could return his ring to Harrods, thus obtaining a store credit.