Contact lens

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to: navigation, search
Adult neon.gif NOT SAFE FOR WORK!!
The article you are looking at may not be work safe!

...Although, since you're already here it's kind of too late for this warning to actually be useful.

If a boss or coworker sees this article, claim that it was spam and blame the IT guys. Otherwise, continue to read it until your lewd urges are satisfied.
A lady searching for the mythical lost contact lens

The contact lens is a fictitious invention, created on April Fools' Day as a joke by Douglas Adams of Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy fame.

A parody of the Babel fish which when inserted into the ear allows its wearer to understand any language except legalese and COBOL, the contact lens would supposedly be inserted into the eye to help one see.

The premise is evidently nonsense; how on earth is someone expected to see if they have something in their eye?

Nonetheless a coalition of optimists, opthomologists and opticians have perpetuated this classic myth, largely because its famed author somehow lends it a modicum of undeserved credibility in much the same way that Plato's tales lend an aura of credibility to the famed myths of Atlantis and New Atlantis.

No one has ever seen a contact lens, despite many wasted hours searching for the blasted things, so most observers have dismissed the legends as mere fiction.

Some credulous onlookers nonetheless continue to believe in this mythical invention and dismiss the many sceptics as being merely shortsighted.