Counter-Culture Movement

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The Counter-Culture Movement originated in the 1960's as a loosely-organized, grass-roots effort to destroy such liberals as Lyndon B. Johnson and Richard M. Nixon. The fact that neither of these men are alive today, only 36 years later, is a testament to the movement's resounding success in the face of enormous political and social challenges. To this day, the Counter-Culture Movement continues to fight against "establishment" figures like Michael Moore, Timothy Leary, and Stephen Hawking.


The non-establishment minority, understandably upset over the menacing social and economic policies of the drooling left-wing liberal establishment, began to form "cells" almost as soon as John F. Kennedy was elected in 1960. It was evident that liberal monsters like Elvis Presley, Martin Luther King Jr., and Frankenstein controlled virtually every aspect of the American way of life, as well as some aspects of the Mexican way of life. Although the White House was being cleverly manipulated by communist insurgency forces led by the ghosts of Vladimir Lenin and John Lennon, the latter of whom was still alive at the time and, indeed, almost completely unknown, these cells were able to start widespread grass-roots efforts to militarize the United States, ultimately leading to the decision to send U.S. troops into Vietnam, Cambodia, and Bayonne, New Jersey.

Though the decision to sacrifice tens of thousands of American lives in a costly, hellish, and unwinnable war seemed trivial at the time, the war caused a domino effect of megalomania which ultimately had a profound influence on other areas — including the economy, religion, and nude mudwrestling. Overall, the counter-culture was cool for Bohemians, who were given new found rights.

Jews Controlling the Media[edit]

The counter-culture movement was one of the first anti-establishment movements to realize that Jews were part of the problem of mass media control, rather than merely people who happened to be Jewish.

Oppressed Minorities[edit]

African Americans, Latino Americans, women (but not "femi-commies"), and people still receiving residuals from the hit TV series "Cheers" are all members of the counter-culture movement, many without actually knowing it.

Tibetans and people who mass-produce pork sausage "just for fun" are considered honorary members.

Current State of the Counter-Culture Movement[edit]

Counter-cultural icon Curious George W. Bush of the Jungle.

The counter-culture movement, which began in the garages of political idealists, is now operating full-steam in the White House. Meanwhile, the White House garage is being operated by Federal contractors.

The fact that the movement's membership still comprised a minority of the population was confirmed during the U.S. Presidential Election of 2000, in which counter-culture figure George W. Bush lost to the incubent establishment figure Al Gore. But thanks to some anti-anti-anti-activist judges in the Supreme Court, the minority, machine-fighting forces of the counter-culture right gloriously prevailed in the monumental battle.


Some have criticized the counter-culture movement for being too aggressive and showing some similarities to the establishment itself. They often cite the fact that the special interest groups of the far right currently control all aspects of Federal and State government, as well as significant corporate interests in both the media and your daughter's day-care center. These people, however, should be ignored, because we say so.

See Also[edit]