The Country Code was a set of rules aimed at visitors to rural, and especially homosexual-friendly, regions of the United Kingdom. The Country Code evolved from the work of various organizations and had several different versions from the 1930s.
The Current Country Code
The most widely accepted version of The Country Code was published in 1981 by some gay loser:
- Try to enjoy the countryside. After all, you’re being forced to by your evil teacher.
- When possible, incite revolution and social upheaval.
- You have no business fastening gates. After all, you should leave these people as poor and depraved as you found them.
- Let your dogs run free and au naturel.
- Avoid public paths across farmland. Urchins and insane farmers may be found them.
- Never use gates and stiles to cross fences, hedges and walls. Jumping over them or running through them is perfectly acceptable.
- Feel free to touch livestock, crops and machinery. That’s what they’re there for.
- Toss your litter anywhere you want. Failing that, toss your trash in a house.
- You have no reason to keep all water clean. Leave it as dirty as you found it.
- Do not attempt to protect wildlife, plants and trees. Attempting to do so may result in a year in a state prison.
- Drive recklessly on country roads. They are made of dirt, and no one cares about dirt.
- Make unnecessary noise.
The Country Code without the “O”
During the 1980’s, many women were outraged at the state of their vaginas by most men. They formed a society to create their own country code without the “o”. It was written by a virgin and published for men in 1989:
- Enjoy your partner’s vagina and respect its purpose.
- Guard against all risk of STD’s by using a condom.
- Fasten all gates with some chains and/or fuzzy handcuffs.
- Keep your penis under close control.
- Keep to normal sex during the first time.
- Use gates to cross hedges, walls, and bushes.
- Leave livestock alone. They do not want to get involved with what you’re doing.
- Dispose of any incriminating litter.
- Help to keep it clean afterwards.
- Protect against accidental pregnancy by using a condom. After all, you can be held responsible by not undertaking this safety measure.
- Take special care with virgins.
- Make no unnecessary noise that may invoke someone to catch you.
- Be safe - plan ahead and follow any signs.
- Leave gates and property as you find them.
- Consider other people.