Crank Yankers

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For the religious among us who choose to believe lies, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Crank Yankers.

"Come on, come on, cause we're having a bong, then we're gonna make some calls to strangers." That's the opening line to the highly original show called "Crank Yankers" that combined Sesame Street Muppets with the highly overrated prank-calls of the Jerky Boys. Even 5 years now, since the last airing of Crank Yankers on MTV2 & Comedy Central, unless you are watching a visual of a Crank Yankers prank-call, then you can find Crank Yankers prank-calls in just audio format, all over the internet under the artist name of Jerky Boys. This is because in our modern day society, anything relating to a prank-call is labeled as having been created by the Jerky Boys, even tho the Jerky Boys have never actually made a single funny prank call in the history of mankind.... or Mr Socko.

So it's quite similar, in-fact, it's JUST like downloading a funny/parody song; it get's labeled as a "Weird Al Yankovich" song, even tho Weird Al Yankovich couldn't make a funny even if Master Splinter rented space up Weird Al's ass. Therefor, if you hear a prank call on the internet, and it sounds like it has a decent quality sound to the audio, and not the poor sound of a couple of 12 year olds in the background giggling like little sophomore girls as their leader of the "fuckless wonders of America" asks elderly people if their refrigerator is running? then it's most likely not a Jerky Boys prank call, and something that was recorded for the show Crank Yankers.

Join the Crank Yankers tonight

As close as anyone could ever stand to see Wanda Sykes naked

Crank Yankers involved finding washed-up/out-of-work, semi-funny comedians to come into the studios of Comedy Central and call someone up to prank them. The audio was then taken and had visual animation added to it by a team of rejected Sesame Street puppets. Such semi-celeb, and hardly known of "stars" of the show included the voices of Dennis Leary, Wanda Sykes, Sarah Silverman, The entire fucking Kimmel family, Seth MacFarlane, Drew Carey & some unknown guy who out-shined everyone else doing the voice of a retarded muppet named "Special Ed".


As if one retard on the show wasn't enough.

the Crank Yanker producer and director, Senior Wank Spanker had gotten sick and tired of every prank call he downloaded from Napster being labeled as having been created by the Jerky Boys, or as he and many others call them, the Jerk Off Boys, because they are officially now the most overrated couple of has-beens, that never where, to have ever walked the planet. Senor Wank decided that if he could get a show off the ground that involves muppets making prank-calls to unsuspecting strangers (because making them to someone you know who is expecting you to call pretty much takes away any elements of surprise and humor to the gag and is seen as completely fucking gay) would make the show famous enough to change the cock-suckers who mislabel mp3 downloads on the internet with the wrong name of the artist.

Senor Wank's concept was to eliminate the Jerky Boy's name once and for all, and to have all prank-call audio files being downloaded illegally through means of Peer-2-peer downloading utilities be labeled as being made by the "Crank Yankers" instead of the "Jerk Off Fags".

Season 1

Wanda YIKES, shes nude again... *vomit*... that's why the show got canceled.

The show began production and was aired on MTV2, where no one saw it. Which was a shame, as their was some decent shit being shown... but later that year when it got dumped on Comedy Central, a bunch of kiddies thinking it was Sesame Street time, and a few stoners caught whiff of the show, it's popularity began to rise. By the end of the first season, it had a decent audience, enough to get the show a second season... but looking back on season 1 now, it's kind of a mystery to know why the show was allowed a season 2, as it pretty much sucked ass from head to sphincter.

It was decided that a Mexican shouldn't be in charge of what is supposed to be funny, so Senor Wank was given the ass from the show. In his haste of being fired from his own creation, he sought out revenge by tracking down the Jerky Boys and beginning them to let him mow their lawns.

Season 2

Series 2 was a bit funnier then the last, now that a Mexican wasn't writing the jokes. Now they had employed a Jewish man named "He-Blew" to run the show. So now the show was guaranteed to be funnier. However, by the end, it wasn't... unfortunately for Comedy Central, the idea to have a Jew write the jokes was brilliant... but to put him in charge of finance... oy-vey!

So at the end of Season 2, the Jew had to go, and Comedy Central needed someone "hilarious" to take over... that was not Jewish, or Mexican... which was a shame, as Mel Brooks was free for the week it took to shoot season 3.

Season 3

Fozzy Bear makes a special guest appearance

Season 3 was the end of Crank Yankers... as the powers that be did not want a Jew or Mexican writer... it pretty much left them with only the choice of a bunch of starting out Canadian writers who would just write crap about hockey and beer. A team of British writers formerly employed by the BBC, but they figured if they hired them, they would hire Mike Myers to make prank calls, and it would be as hilarious as "The Love Guru" (shudder) or they could just employee 57 American writers who with there combined talents all channeling the same brain waves for comedy couldn't be worse then Weird Al Yankovich... so the Americans overkill of 51 unneeded writers where hired.

And that's why the show never saw a season 4.

The Future of Crank Yankers

All rights to the Crank Yankers have been sold to Adult Swim, who are about to get underway in shooting a new show, that involves the Crank Yankers, who instead of filling out 30 mins of half decent calls amongst a heap of shitty calls, they will try to do just a couple of really good calls, amongst the mix of another show Adult Swim have bought the rights to... Wonder Showzen. It will be the 3rd season of Wonder Showzen, involving the Crank Yankers as weekly segments of the show.

Nah... we're just fucking with you, that's never going to happen. But I bet you creamed your pants believing it was going to happen. HAHAHAHAHAHA.... you LOSER.

Hang Up Time

Well now it's time to say goodbye to Jed and all his kin... no wait, thats not the end theme song?

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