Crookes

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Because of their incurable biases, the so-called experts at Wikipedia will probably never have an article about Crookes. We are sorry they insist on being this lame.

Officially known as The Waffly-Versatile Kingdom Of Crookes, this vast nation sits atop the barren, windswept Crookes Plateau overlooking Rivendell Valley and The People's Republic Of South Yorkshire. Governed by King John Shuttleworth I, Crookes lies some 159'137 metres above sea level.


For years, very little was known about Crookes due to its inaccessibility. Up until 1987, all knowledge of the kingdom was obtained through skydiving asylum-seekers having made the descent from Crookes to the neighbouring regions. During that year, Reinhold Messner became the first person to complete the first successful ascent of Mount Crookes and reach the Crookes Plateau. Since then, only Alan Hinkes and Mr. Blobby have successfully climbed up to Crookes. None of the three aforementioned individuals have returned at the time of writing.


Crookes experiences a rather extreme climate, with winter daytime highs averaging a quite nippy -117C. Summers in stark contrast are very sultry, with an average daytime high of -57C. However, people who do not usually reside in Antarctica are recommended to wear a coat anyway.

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