Dairy Queen

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Coat of arms of Dairy Queen of the Dilly dynasty.
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For the religious among us who choose to believe lies, the self-proclaimed experts at Wikipedia have an article very remotely related to Dairy Queen.

“These king size sheets need more than just a queen in between them”

Dairy Queen was Queen of the Land of Dairy and northern Bigtitus from 1753 until her death in 1752. According to writers of the day, she was known to "treat her subjects right". She was briefly wed to Burger King, but this ended in divorce due to find out that she was a trany...(I mean srly, who wouldn't ditch a redhead after one turn).

She was the fourth and penultimate slut of the Dilly dynasty, and is remembered for returning her land from that of a burger empire to an ice cream economy. To this end, she had almost three hundred subjects in the meat packing industry executed. Her liberal dairy policies, however, were in many cases reversed by her successor and half-sister, Queen Brazier II (who ruled 1831-1905).



The kingdom after her death[edit]

Theorists suspect assassination by the neighboring kingdom of McDonaldland. The "invasion of a million penis fries" followed shortly after her death but was defeated by The Burger King, who had taken power the port-lands of McDonaldland, starving the living foods of the island. The dairy-heir of Land of Dairy, princess Wendy, sought control of the kingdom and married the Dude of the Kentucky territory, Mike "oc" Small. They ruled from 1905 until 1942, when Ronald The Sexy slaughtered the armies of Dairyloch upon summoning the powerful demigod, The Big Mac Moon. The Moon left behind his signature burger to let the fallen kingdoms know who had brought the terror. The 58 Years Of Darkness followed, as Ronald The Sexy conquered all kingdoms of the western Fattyian islands, making McDonaldland the greatest power in the world today.Sexy Burgers have brainwashed millions into believing they're Bobby Jindal and that huffing all the orange kittens and leaving your girlfriend Britney Spears the brown,grey,and chartreuse ones is bad for your prostate.

Resistance[edit]

An obvious burger-dealer who should be lynched.

It has been rumored that today there are resistance fighters in the "Unterr-Grount"I LOVE HORSES society selling counterfiet and contrebande Dairy Burgers, such as the "cheeseburger", but this has not been confirmed. if ever you find a DQ burger, do not hesitate to panic and spit at it. Also, screaming loudly is appreciated to warn others of the impending threat.