Dairy queen faggots

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Dairy Queen Faggots[edit]

Brian Cox, DQ Faggot Leader

Dairy Queen was founded in 1657 by Robert De Niro and a fag named Brian Cox. No, these are not ordinary faggots, as in homosexual lovers, but because they both have brains that are bundles of sticks. The current owners of Dairy Queen are referred to as "The Don's" of the franchise. Currently Brian Cox continues to exist because he eats piles of dog shit that give him immortality and a giant, fat ass. He is currently the lead faggot at Dairy Queen. The main focus of this article is on Brian Cox, the current dog shit eating vampire.


Brian Cox (Eater of dog shit)[edit]

Brian Cox, also known as Brian, lover of the cock, was born in 1200 BC under the rule of Plato and helped raise the Lost City of Atlantis with the help of magic from Gandalf. At this point in time, the term Dairy Queen was founded. The name in Atlantean language is pronounced "duasdtu asdgfudghs." Before the rise of Atlantis, Brian Cox was a carpenter who worshipped the goddess known as banana sundae. He later realized that by exploiting the powers of Gandalf by eating large piles of dog shit would lead to immortality. To this day, Brian runs an animal shelter for dogs, but is humane in that he refuses to put any dogs to sleep. Brian spends his day licking the asses of dogs for more power. Yet he grows weak if he eats the shit of a German Shephard. Carelessness resulted in being stricken with a curse by Gandalf forcing Brian to be exiled to the island of Dogshitoria. It was here that he founded the organization known as the Dairy Queen Faggots.

He spent many centuries trying to sleep with Paris Hilton, but he was so extremely gross that she rejected him after 15 shots of tequila. Sadly, he was not amused, so he decided to take up dog rape. With the idea of raping a dog, all he had to do was suck his own dick for power. In 1765 he accidentally fucked a German Shephard and then blew himself. He went into a catatonic state and was preserved at the museum for dipshit fucknuts also known as Hillary Clinton's manor. When he finally came to, he was in very bad shape, a dirty old man, a pedophile if you will. He realized he gained more power from pedophilia than from eating dog shit. So he joined NAMBLA along with Lewis Black, Al Sharpton, and Madonna. Now we cut to the present day....


Present Day DQ Fags[edit]

Brian Cox, the leader of the DQ Faggots is now in making $4/hr eating piles of dog shit and blowing himself at freakshows for the amusement of Howard Stern and Nicole Richie. Nicole lost over 60 lbs by watching this, as it taught her that bulimia was in fact the way to go... Back on subject, Brian has continued to consume dog shit and engage in pedophilia. The FBI recently investigated his immortal powers but were awestruck and dropped all charges when it was found he could eat dog shit, horse shit, cow shit, Muslim shit, Cartman's shit, and the entire shit of the CIA in one gulp.

The moral of the story is that dog shit gives you eternal power, as in the case of Brian, the dog shit and self-blower has taught us. Brian now manages a Dairy Queen in Ethiopia where he fondles young children and smokes crack, not crack, but he smokes the crack of children.... their assholes. When not doing this he forces the Ethiopians to bring him fresh dogs so he can continue to lick on their asses. Dairy Queen, the present company, is unhappy with the term Dairy Queen Faggots, but Brian's powers overwhelm them because no one can seem to get him into court as they are amazed at his dog-shit eating capabilities. Brian also sucks on the cocks of horses. It was learned recently in a scientific study by Brad Pitt that horses are hung.... big. And sucking them doesn't actually give you power but helps control the gag reflex. With this in mind, Brian can now consume over 900 lbs of dog shit a day. It is estimated that by the year 2030 he will weigh over 6,000,000 lbs and his body will be made entirely of dog shit and horse semen.

Brian's asshole, along with all DQ Fags is in the shape of a heart, so you can sense the love emanating from his ass. Yet with all DQ Faggots, Brian cannot show any love as he is too busy consuming... yes you know, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST,

Brian and Sylvia Browne[edit]

They married recently in the year 2070 as it is currently 2072, and Sylvia Browne contacts the dog spirit world feeding Brian with spiritual dog shit that has a more potent effect. To this day it is unknown what the current plan of Brian and his organization is, but we all know that they love dog shit, horse cock, assholes, corn beef hash, Gatorade, Budweiser, heroin, ice cream, and lots of other shit. Brian is set to give a speech on shit in the near future where he is going to be assassinated by JFK. Did I mention Brian is a cock-sucking dog shit eater? kxthxbye