Dave Zein

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Dave Zein, a senator from an unknown state, may not actually be a senator at all, but someone who sneaks into Senate meetings for the free food and comfortable chairs. On several occasions there have been attempts to remove Zein from these meetings. Answering furious cries that Zein should be removed as a matter of national security, particularly since he seems to vote against the popular crowd just because he thinks it is funny to do so, President Bush patiently mediated, wondering if “anybody really knows who all these people are, anyway.”

It is suspected that he may represent Wisconsin, since as one rival senator phrased it, "he sounds like Bobby's mom when he talks, only more manly and a little more 'cartoon.'"

Regarding Dave Zein's voting record, he is "Pro-God, Pro-Flag, Pro-Family, Pro-Life, Pro-Gun," and, as his wife reports, Pro-phylactic.

Visit his website, but be careful, he'll shoot!

Mr. Zein has recently made public statements regarding feet, World War 2.