David the Lastnameless

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David the Lastnameless was born in the year -1437 ADD, in the bonnie highlands of Scotland. As a lad he wandered the lands, shagging sheep, enjoying the mountain views, and generally having a heck of a time. All was well, until one day when his troos became entangled in the thistley knots of...well...a thistle. Upon wrenching his beloved checked, pringle golfing troos free of this prickly predicament, it became clear that they were no long troo shaped AT ALL! He had, in fact, invented the KILT! (boyskirt). Fast forward 24 or so years, and the local people, the Scotties, crowned him as King David.


And thus, from a simple sheep-shagging background, sprung the greatest bloodline of all time - the Lastnameless. David went on to have 1257 children, with 874 different women. (and ewes. (ewwww...)) In time, his seed spread through all the lands, and his noble blood now runs in many families.


Throughout history, the Lastnameless have sprung up when least expected, and all have been great heroes and leaders. Their exploits are legendary, and their power immense. Single handedly they have ruled countries, founded religions, and sung crappy songs. While nobody now knows where all the Lastnameless can be found, a partial list can be found here:


The Known Lastnameless