Dawn's Diary about sexual orientation

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This is the diary of Dawn. If you don't know who Dawn is, see below...

MY DIARY[edit]

Hey there, <insert name here>. Long time, no see. I'm Dawn. You know, that new character from Pokemon? Yeah, that Dawn. The one who will save the show, because we all know, the show plummeted to the bottom the second they added May. I'm actually smarter than most people think. Just because I look good doesn't mean I'm a total dumbass, right? Right. I hear Digimon has a thing for me. Who can blame him (or anyone else)? Anyway, I'm really into who's gay or who's in an orientation crisis. This page is about who I think is gay or not. So, are you ready? OK, let's get started!

  • Sanjaya Malakar: You know what's funny? Pop singers always seem to attract young girls (not me, obviously), yet they seem like gay guys. Remember when Sanjaya made that one girl cry? Well, I'll betcha anything it had NOTHING TO DO WITH SANJAYA'S LOOKS! It had to do with how badly her eardrums collapsed. Seriously, I interviewed her and she said he was GAY! Nonetheless, Sanjaya HAS TO BE GAY! ANY MALE POP SINGER OTHER THAN (the artist formerly known as) PRINCE IS GAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • Justin Timberlake: This is pretty easy. He's gay, but he tries to cover it up by making it LOOK like he's straight by singing about relations with girls and young, college-age women. This is so common, anyone can see through that ploy. Justin is gayer than anyone on this planet in my opinion.
  • Clay Gay Ken Aiken: Pretty obvious...
  • Michael Jackson: I think he's gay, but I don't say that becuase he's a child molester. Look at who he molested: BOYS!!!!! He's a gay sexual predator.
  • Ryan Seacrest: Straight. Remember that photo that appeared everywhere on 'The National Enquirer' that looked like Seacrest was kissing a dude? It was edited. Yeah.
  • Ash: I know FOR A FACT Ash WAS gay, but then I came along. I have my opinions why he suddenly became straight, but they are WAY too scientific for this site.
  • General Grievous: He's a cyborg, and an alien at that; does he even HAVE a sexual preference?
  • Aaron Carter: Yup. He is a gay pop singer. To make things worse, his BRO is a gay pop singer. This must be a gene or something.
  • That dude who plays Sportacus: Either he's gay or a bisexual LSD addict. That show is so pointless, I can't tell.
  • Rush Limbaugh: He's secretly gay. He wants to be married to whomever represents the Republican Party. Now if only he quit calling the Democrats SHUT UP, MEG!(S) or SHUT UP, MEG!(S). If he did that, people would listen to him more.
  • Drew Pickles: The gayest living man around and to ever roam the Earth. As a matter of fact, he was so gay, that my Gay-O-Meter broke.
  • Barney the Dinosaur: Gayest dinosaur alive. End of conversation. Ya hear that, Barney? YOUR PETTY LITTLE ASSASSINATION ATTEMPT ON ME DIDN'T PHASE ME!

Oh, by the way, Thanks a lot, Uncyclopedia. I needed a place to host my journal other than blogspot.