Deaf Note

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Whoops! Maybe you were looking for License Note?


~ Beethoven on Deaf Note

“Damn, I thought you said a Death Note; I could've really used that.”

~ Dr. Phil on Deaf Note
The seal on the notebook written by a Rockigami

Deaf Note (Japanese: デッフノート, Deffu Nōto) is the name of a manga and anime series. It was written by MC Hammer, illustrated by Eminem, and is the only good anime adult swim has aired in years.


Deaf Note is about a boy named Lite Brite who finds a notebook one day that was put there by a Rockigami or God of Rock called Ronnie James Dio. This notebook has the power to turn people deaf almost immediately through the use of annoying songs. If one wants to, one can write the song that causes deafenings; otherwise, the deafening is caused by a sudden heart attack. Lite realizes the power of this, and starts to turn everybody that he does not like deaf. He does this under the name of Shakira, so as not to be found by the police, his mother-in-law or the fangirls stampede.

A twenty-year old boynamed LMNOP (Lite's evil clone.) thinks that this is wrong, and starts an organization against Lite. They manage to do this because to turn people deaf, Lite needs to know how their face looks and what music is on their iPod. LMNOP and his MMORPG Guild members stop bringing iPods because LMNOP will make their heads explode. (And because LMNOP has a Zune.) This however loses the MMORPG guild many of its members because they like iPods.

Main Characters[edit]

  • Lite Brite

A seemingly perfect boy genius, Lite Brite is secretly an evil bastard that loves torturing people with bad songs. After Ronnie James Dio gave him the Deaf Note, Lite has been going on a mass deafening spree.


A twenty-year old who is against Lite's abuse of the Deaf Note. He feels that the Deaf Note should be thrown into a fire or stomped with the weight of his own eye-bags specially developed by watching anime overnight without sleep or seeing porn. He has long arguments with one of her friends, W ( later his name is revelead as Weenie ), about what to do with the Deaf Note. W thinks that the Deaf Note should be sent to Mars. LMNOP has some strange quirks suchs as standing like a monkey, feel abnormal attraction to nerd main characters with anger management and drinking from the toilet with a straw. He is also know as the most awesomest being.

  • Ronnie James Dio

The God of Rock who dropped the Deaf Note and leader of the Rockigami band known as DIO. Dio is addicted to tangelos and if he doesn't get them he starts to randomly sing the main theme song of Friends.

  • Willy Wonka

Willy Wonka, more commonly known as Mello, is a crossdressing crack addict who is always eating chocolate. Willy has to get liposuction every day so he looks anerexic after eating chocolate every second of his/her life.

  • Funzy da Klown

An african jew who attended Lite Brite's 73rd birthday party. His role was blowing very long balloons for Lite since it is indeed, his birthday. However, Lite killed him by writing his foot size (66) in the deaf note and specified that he is deafened by a balloon explosion. He did this because he does not like to have clowns blowing his balloon. This incident was very crucial for LMNOP in his quest to free polka music and other horrible noises (like this).

The Rules of the Deaf Note[edit]

Written Rules[edit]

  • When a person's iPod's name is written in the Deaf Note, they will be come deaf.
  • One must have the pitch of the person's voice to deafen in mind when writing the ipod's name.
  • The person will turn deaf in 40 seconds by a sudden-eardrum-attack if nothing else is specified.
  • If something else is specified, one has 6 minutes and 40 seconds to write the details of the deafening.
  • Those humans who touches a Deaf Note is able to withstand and detect the horrible shriekings of the Rockigami that was the original owner.
  • Those who has used the Deaf Note can neither go to Classic or Hip-Hop.
  • The details of the person's deafening can be manipulated to any possible extent, including controlling the which beat the person will become deaf on.
  • When a rockigami deafens a person, their natural frequency is amplified by the square of that person's pitch, however a human cannot increase their natural frequency.

Unwritten Rules[edit]

  • If something impossible is written in the notebook, the victim will turn deaf from sudden-eardrum-attack.
  • One can obtain the Rockigami's Ears that grants its wearer the ability to read people's iPod's names by just looking at their faces in exchange for his/her virginity.
  • If one comes to possess three or more Deaf Notes on a Thursday, and their pen runs out of ink while writing a iPod's name but less than 40 in the second Note that they obtained within 40 hours of obtaining the third Deaf Note (unless it was obtained from a Rockigami and not another human), the current leader of Egypt will spontaneously combust unless he or she has eaten a tangelo within the last 40 minutes.
  • One cannot see a Rockigami unless he/she touches it's clitoris.