Dean Koontz

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Dean Koontz pictured attending his own funeral.

For other people named Dean Koontz, see Stephen King (ambiguation).

For other people not named Dean Koontz, see Dean R. Koontz (misambiguation).

Biographia Dramatica[edit]

Born: September 21, 1947 Portland, Maine

Died: January 4, 2006 Porto, Mainland Portugal

Occupation(s): novelist, novellaist, noveltyist

Genre(s): Horror Fiction, Horror Fantasy, Horror Science Fiction, Horror Erotic Thriller

Influences: Dean Koontz Sr., Oscar Wilde

Influenced: Anne Frank, Stephen King, Are You Afraid Of The Dark?

Website: http://www.nonotstephenkingtheotherone.kong


Dean "Dean Koontz" Koontz (born September 21, 1947 - died January 4, 2006) was an American fucked author best known for his neither massively popular nor unpopular, yet decidedly second-rate horror novels. Koontz was the 2003 recipient of The National Rifle Association's Medal for Distinguished Contribution To The National Rifle Association Horror Novelist Awards Ceremony and in 2004 placed as runner up, just missing out on the top spot to himself from the year before - an event which he later transcribed and released word for word as a novellette to fulfill a contractual obligation.

French Maid[edit]

Koontz's stories and noveltinis frequently involved an unremarkable protagonist such as an upper-middle-class family's maid, a child, or many times, dare I say it, a writer; in a bland, middle of the road location becoming involved in, frankly, far fetched and implausible events. The characters were involved in their everyday lives, but the "supernatural" encounters and "extraordinary" circumstances "escalated" over the "tedious" course of the clunkily "written" "story" and "then" "they" "end".


Koontz fucked up evinced a partial knowledge of the horror genre, as shown in his nonfiction book How I Learned To Stop Worrying, And Love The Langoliers, which chronicles several decades of solely his own works in both literature, cinema and musical theater. He also alleged that he wrote stories outside the horror genre, including the novatællas The Body Of Rita Hayworth, and The Shawshank Redemption For Dummies (adapted as the movies Stand By Rita Hayworth, and The Shawshank Redemption For Dummies: The Movie, respectively), as well as The Longest Yard 2: The Longer Yard and the pilot episode of Diff'rent Strokes. In the past, Dean Koontz also wrote under the pen name of Stephen King.

Reasons Why You Should Care About Dean Koontz[edit]


Dean "Dean Koontz" Koontz has been the target of many an outrage, but the most infamous incident occurred during the Def Jam "I Declare War" concert, when Jay-Z called Koontz out for biting several rhymes from Jay-Z's bestselling CD "Hammertime: The Christmas Edition". This later escalated into the first ever Horror-writing / Rap Beef. The Jay-Z mixtape "A Tribute to My Loving Father Bert Newton" contains over 200 separate allusions to the fact that Dean Koontz barber was born in the outskirts of Chernobyl. Dean Koontz answered by burning Jay-Z in effigy during a book reading for mentally challenged Vietnamese boat refugees in Wisconsin. Over 12 people died from wheel-chair inflicted injuries as a result, since the burning triggered flashbacks from the war for at least five different audience members.

Dean "Koontz" Koontz "Dean" has apologized for his actions at the reading. Jay-Z has not, declaring the tragedy to be none of his business. He did however buy three of the wheelchairs used in the massacre due to their proven effectiveness when it comes to home defense.