Def Star

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The Def Star was created in a galaxy far, far away by the evil emperor JZ. It is capable of destroying even the most promising of gangster rappers careers with a single burst of concentrated media hype, sound-a-like producers and pointless hangers on. It is the approximate size of JZ's own ego, which itself is approximately the size of a small planet, or perhaps the moon.

To this date, the device has only been used once, to destroy the home planet and blossoming career of Kanye West, well known Rap Master who was always, as the white media put it, "a little on The Dark Side to begin with".

Darth Dropout[edit]

JZ has consistently attempted to undermine Kanye's career since his discovery of one, as he claims, "strong in the rap force, yes sir". This was criticised earlier this year in Source magazine, who sited JZ as having "totally made up all this 'rap force' bullshit, I mean look at it, he's just taking quotes from star wars and putting rap on the front of them, what's up with that?" JZ's earlier attempts to destroy the young rapper include tricking him into an X-Wing without any seatbelts and throwing him into a fiery pit of lava.

This latter attempt resulted in the laborious task of completely rebuilding Kanye both physically and mentally, from a mixture of high-tech cyborg ventilation units/prosthetic limbs, pure tangible evil, and bits of wire. Henceforth, Kanye is known as "Darth Dropout", partly because he never finished College but also because of the shoddy wiring in his cybernetic bowels, leading to prolonged and uncontrollable releases of shit singles.

Kanye was prophesied upon his discovery as "the one who will bring balance to all this East Coast West Coast shit" but this prophesy could bear several different interpretations. On the one hand, it could mean that he will unite both the East and West coast rappers in a harmonious collective of artists and producers, all working to further musical and social culture of the still to this day oppressed African American people. On the other hand, it could mean that he's going to make them all sound exactly like him.

With the recent proliferation of dance-floor conscious hamster tracks, it is frighteningly obvious which is more accurate.