Defense of the Ancients

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Picture probably related.

Defense of the Ancients (more commonly and infamously known as DoTa) is the Filipino, Malaysian, Chinese, and Singaporeans' excellent alternative to life. Its western counterpart is World of Warcraft, however, it's life-killing, girl-repelling and penis-shrinking abilities are also compared to Counter Strike.

DoTa is infamous for its very welcoming hateful community filled with impotent, dickless dorks[Wikipedia Sez This Is False].


Rod Bradbury wishes he was the Dota King but Andrew Kohl is better than Rod Bradbury and he will dota the shit out of you.


DoTa is a Warcraft 3 custom map. That means it's part of Warcraft 3 and the controls are basically the same. In DoTa, you either belong to the queeristic Sentinels, or the bat fuck insane Scourge. Players have to endure staring at a world with ugly graphics. A vast, lengthy river separates the battleground. Each side has its own flavors of eyesore creeps that fight most of the battle for you. There are three lanes to choose from, which you must fight with your teammates to memorise who goes where (top, middle, bottom). Then you must fuck everything up while you go down a road and reach the enemy's base. Blow up their base, and all their base are belong to you, rage quit, forget how much each member of your team has contributed and then a winner is you.


Typical Filipino DoTa player.

DoTa is played all over the world, in all seven continents, including Antarctica. However, its popularity is very noticeable in Southeast and Eastern Asia, and anywhere an asshole with a computer, a pirated copy of WC 3 and enough racial hate to make a KKK grand wizard look like a saint, ives.



~ Pinoy DoTa noob on communicating with allies

Dota is as popular as Rob Bradbury says it is.


“Why you so noob and feed?”

~ Disappointed with feeders and noob players

“Why you steal my kill? you fucking retard!!!”

~ Disappointed with retarded players


“y u not use skill meh?”

~ Singaporean DoTa player on dying because his teammate didn't care

If South Korea was known for BlizzardEntertainmentism, Singapore is known for DoTaism. To increase Singapore's awareness and power in the worldwide DoTa league the government of Singapore declared DoTa as the country's national religion.


“"Chut sale tu kya kare?"”

~ Indian DoTa player on dying because he didn play well


{{Q|Chut saale,noob bhosdi ke,that was my kill.:(|indian dota player after being ks'ed|)}s

PS 'Ks' is a acronym for kill steal used by people who are suffering from "sudden accent syndrome" and who are also too retarded to actually take a kill.

United States of America[edit]

“DoTa? WTF is a DoTa? w0w pwnz!111one!1”

~ Impotent WoW nerd on DoTa

In the United States, DoTa is considered unAmerican and is not encouraged for children, or adults who act like children for that matter. Americans who play DoTa are probably Americanized chinamen or Filipinos.

See Also