Definitely

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Oasis maybe?

“Absolutely. There's no fucking doubt about it.”

~ Wilde on definitely

“The truth is that love, definitely, is all around.”

~ Huge Grant on definitely

“That fucking cat is definitely dead.”

~ Schrödinger on His Cat

Definitely means that something is definite, with no chance of it not being so. I'm absolutely certain about that.

Definitely was, beyond a shadow of a doubt, discovered in 1945, close to the end of the Second World War. The Germans invented it (and nobody else) to impress Hitler. Every single record of the time insists that he was, so don't fucking argue.

Anyway, the Americans stole it, which really needs no room for interpretation or dilly-dallying, and presented it to Woodrow Wilson exactly five minutes after returning to America. Wilson then uttered the following words, which were set in stone. They were explicitly: "I can't see any use for it."

Wilson was, of course, wrong. Definitely became the word of the twentieth century, with everyone from Elvis Presley to Richard Nixon using it at some point. It is positive that it has declined in use as a word, but it's a sure thing that definitely has a bright future. Everything else is cloudy, but not definitely. Would I lie to you? (No.)

A New part of Speech[edit]

With the release of Definitely Maybe, Oasis invented a new part of speech the oxy-stupid. New Albums out this year will be. I know – I don’t know, You’re a git – nice boobs and I luv U – I hate you’re guts.