Detective szlampy

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to navigation Jump to search


Szlampy: the story[edit]

Detective Szlampy is a detective, famous for absoutely no reason. Began life as a crocodile high on acid in a word document. Quickly advanced into powerpoint, through original creator Baron Pedro. Both parties claim this has nothing to do with Szlampy banging Pedro, but there remain sceptics. With new technology came new challenges, and Szlampy encountered Count Unpleasant for the first time. The Count was easily defeated, though, despite bombarding Szlampy with one liners like:

  • Avast ye faggots!
  • Arrr ye knobs!
  • Yeeeee bast!
  • Omelettes make a tasty and nutritious treat!
  • Cheese is a kind of meat, a milky yellow treat and i milk it from my teat, but i try to be discrete AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMM!
Count Unpleasant - has a speech defect.

A brief history[edit]

by Szlampy co-creator, GuerrillaClock


The 'classic' Szlampy.

Story? Ha! I spit on such basic needs. Szlampy never really had a story. Its a massive (well, not really) powerpoint series about Detective Szlampy and Baron Pedro, the two adventurers. He has appered in a total of four complete powerpoints. Two are currently in progress, including a movie. He started as a clipart crocodile in a word document, made for his English by my friend, Peter. It quickly developed into a number of word posters, such as "Szlampy and the Cheesy Chip Murder." It advanced into powerpoint, the first one being "Szlampy and the Case of the Broken PSP". More followed, including the "Case of the Christmas Nuke" and "the Big Bald Bastard of Old Kent Town." More characters also went in, with arch villain Count Unpleasant being the main one. The latter episode. was put on the internet, and was the first Szlampy to have this honour. Find it at The two in production are "Szlampy vs America", the movie, and "Is this the end of Detective Szlampy?" the last ever Szlampy. Copyright of Pedrosoft, which is copyright of me since I just made it up. However, these two have been put back to make way for a further episodes, Szlampy and the Damned Machine and Szlampy and the Cursed Experiment.--GuerrillaClock 09:01, 18 September 2006 (UTC)

The aftermath[edit]

written by zuludriver, guerilla clock's amazing new allie in fighting fascism,,through the sound of ink and pixels

After the release of szlampy to the world wide web the internet version was a success which swarmed with over 6 people watching the clip each day but this success was short lived as the creator HE WHO MUST NOT BE NAMED was done with drug charges as well as obscenities at the queen of Congo. The popularity dropped and only negative 4 people were watching clips of detective szlampy a fornight ont tinterweb.

The rebuild[edit]

This downfall begun and ended on the same day as a new writer was brought to plateau of slzampy this being HE WHO MUST NOT BE NAMED's twin brother He WHO MUST BE NAMED BUT WE CAN'T REMEMBER WHAT HE S CALLED. So with a new writer under its overly large wing the detective szlampy got back on track and is now creating it's new two productions as preciously mantioned.

The real szlampy[edit]

The real slzampy is a kind of cat like creature that on Saturdays goes round eating chickens while on weekdays spends his life in a cupboard being fed algebra by technicians. The reason for any one wants to base a whole story on a racist cat no one knows, but what is certain is detective slzampy should never be used irresponsibly and is for oral use only.

governmental warning[edit]

A szlampy's for life not just for a star trek convention.