Dethklok

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Dethklok

Dethkloktheband.PNG
'A typical depiction of the band'

Years Active 1999 - Present
Genre(s) Most Brutal Death Metal Ever
Label(s) Williams Street Records - 1999 - present
Members Nathan Explosion (vocals)
Skwisgaar Skwigelf (lead guitarist, considered the greatest guitarist of all time)
Toki Wartooth (rhythm guitarist, considered the world's second best guitarist)
William Murderface (bassist)
Pickles The Drummer (obviously the drummer)


“What do you mean, 'booze ain't food'? I'd rather chop off my ding-dong than admit that! ”

~ William Murderface

“That is totally metal”

~ Oscar Wilde
Bouncywikilogo7.gif
For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia think they have an article very remotely related to Dethklok.

Dethklok is the most commercially successful music act in history. They are more popular than the Beatles ever were and are currently the world's 7th largest economy. One of the most metal of all metal bands to grace grave the face of our fair world, the band is so metal that many metallic elements normally found only in the Periodic Table have become tarnished as a result of the bands success. Dethklok has consistently earned too much money every business quarter (as defined by the IRS) and are forced by the government each year to give a portion back to the public at large. Dethklok is known for it's incredibly brutal shows and its highly devoted fans, many of whom die in attempting to see the band play. Currently, the band is the fixation of an ancient prophecy of metalocalypse.


Musical Style[edit]

The genre of music Dethklok plays is often described as extreme death metal. Nathan Explosion, the band's vocalist, prefers to describe the band's music simply as "Brutal. Brutal Metal." Fans tend to just define the genre simply as 'music,' and refer to all other forms of music as separate genres. In their view, all other music is simply inferior to Dethklok's, and therefore must be hyphenated.

Dethklok has also experimented in regards to their own sound. A few years ago, Dethklok began to seek solitude to redefine their sound. They performed a new live show roughly a month later with a musical number that they described as 'the blues'. Most casual observers indicated that the song sounded exactly the same as their other works, but were too afraid to directly confront the band about it.

Live Shows[edit]

Dethklok is famous for its over the top and often physically violent live shows. Dethklok often uses pyrotechnics and other forms of extra-musical entertainment in order to give their audience the most brutal experience possible. Often, fans are mutilated or killed at these live shows: often they are killed in accidents caused by the show itself, by other fans, or by the band itself.

History[edit]

A group of the bands 'mental' 'Metal' fans

The band formed in 1999 when frontman Nathan Explosion met up with Skwisgaar at the local metal hair convention. The two quickly hit it off based on their mutual inability to form a coherent sentence. The pair agreed that the convention was "not metal enough" and set off to find a cheap bar. Outside the convention, they were rudely interrupted by Pickles, who fell onto them after the bouncer kicked him out. Recognizing Pickles from the most recent Drunk Olympics, Explosion brought him along.

The trio were interested in forming a band, but recognized that Skwisgaar's skills alone wouldn't be enough. They decided, over the thirteenth beer, to find themselves a bass player.

It was about this point that Murderface stabbed their table with an authentic Civil War knife. Skwisgaar, forgetting he was not, in fact, in a metal video, whipped out his guitar and attempted to shoot laser beams at Murderface. The resulting conflict can only be described as lukewarm. It somehow ended with Murderface and someone who got involved for no apparent reason, Toki Wartooth, becoming involved with the band.

With such a potent combination, it wasn't long before Dethklok became the biggest band in the world. Critics argue that this was largely because of the Murdercycle - who's going to argue with a band who owns a motorbike with four sidecars? Would you? I wouldn't.

Dethklok is famous for being tied to the now infamous hurricane, dubbed Scrambles the Death Dealer by then Florida Governor Nathan Explosion, and the aftermath that destroyed the State of Florida. Oh, by the way, Nathan Explosion served as the last governor of Florida.

Band members-ish[edit]

  • Nathan Explosion: Vocals, Windmill Headbanging. Granter of the rank of "Metal" or "Brutal". Requires constant liver transplants.
  • Skwisgaar Skwigelf: Lead guitarist, the fastest guitarist on Earth, taller than a tree. Born in Sweden, where it is said that the worst horse wins, which Skwisgaar confirmed is true. Along with the classic windmill headbanging technique, Skwisgaar often uses the classic back and forth technique. He is secretly afraid Toki is better than him which is why he will not let him write music. He often coordinates his headbanging along with Toki. Skwisgaar has a guitar made from the wood of Christ's cross, along with a guitar made out of an ant farm.
  • Toki Wartooth (not a bumblebee): Rhythm guitarist, second fastest guitarist on Earth, token whiny Norweigan. When Toki gets annoyed with his more skilled brother in shred, he either turns into a black metal demon poser or trollops around with a clown. But for what he lacks in guitar skill, he makes up for with utter cuteness. He also has underwater friends. He claims not to be a bumblebee, however this is still yet to be confirmed. In Norway, the best horse is president.
  • William Murderface, Murderface, Murderface: Harmonica, Trash Can, Bass, general mutilation, Acoustic, Reggae. Least liked and least important member of the band. Also has his own side band, Planet Piss(hasn't even written one riff) and playing bass with his penis.
  • Pickles: The Drummer Doodily doo ding dong doodily doodily doo. After someone claimed he wasn't an alcoholic, he immediately drank even more to prove them wrong. As a result, he's become a role model for young Australians everywhere.

Discography[edit]

As you would expect from a band as metal as Dethklok, they have a number of songs. Unfortunatly we are unable to list them due to a legal writ issued by layers representing Gold and Sliver who fear that Dethklok songs may affect their reputation.