DiAWH Empire

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The DiAWH Empire is a powerful and down-right cool force that you have probably never heard of. In fact, you are probably a member already. It is run by the almighty Daniel, the most feared, loved and sexiest Ninja Pirate in existance. DiAWH stands for "Daniel is Awesome, Worship Him".

Leader[edit]

See main article: Daniel

Daniel, in short, is the coolest, baddest, sexiest Ninja Pirate in existance. He is the be-all and end-all and you worship him in your sleep. He has many Generals, of which all do many different jobs such as galactic domination, kitten huffing and cleaning that spot of skin between your toes.

Generals[edit]

All of the DiAWH Generals have gained their divine status by doing something great, heroic, or just plain cool to show Daniel that they deserve it. Generals are ranked by stars. A list of DiAWH Generals is as follows:

Walid, The Dominator. A Lebanese 11-star General in charge of the Galactic Domination Division. He has killed many kittens, hamsters, pirates and ninjas (even though he loves them all). He also takes great pride in killing Jews and saving Lebanon. The most racist and patriotic person you will ever meet.
Shobbit, The Kiwi. A strange, sexy man that the ladies can't resist (though he is more easily resisted than Daniel). His name is a blend between the words sheep and Hobbit due to his New Zealand origins. Mostly in charge of the public face of DiAWH if he can get off his lazy butt and do it. He is a 4-star General.
Mudi, The Bogan. A sexy girl in charge of nothing, really. Just sort of stands there and serves pie. A 10-star General with a thing for Shobbit.
Lewin, That Guy. Just some guy that the almighty Daniel decided to make a 2-star General. Great at what he does which is nothing. Absolutely nothing. Anyone who says otherwise is WRONG! Even Lewin is wrong if he says it. He has absolutely no chance of getting laid. None. Not even by your mum.
Kristin, That Unbelievably Hot Chick That You Wish You Were With Right Now. Name says it all. Another 10-star General who's boobs are responsible for the defeat of many other orginisations that tried to take DiAWH down. She is payed to take out DiAWH's enemies with her sexyness before they can organise themselves.
Ellie, The Randomness. Miss Random herself. The most random random-person you will meet. She is funny, random, suprising, random, and short. Oh! And did I mention random?

There are many, many more but I just can't be stuffed adding them to the list just now.

Other Members[edit]

Some other members of some importance are:

Origins[edit]

Daniel created DiAWH for two known reasons: The first was to counter the action of "The Unseen Enemy" and it's Minions. The second was just to show off his superiority over everyone else. Everyone loves Daniel (but some people won't admit it in public or while hung-over. Everyone will admit it while drunk.)

Rampage (also known as the Huffing of Evil)[edit]

See Daniel for full details.

Present Day[edit]

Right now, DiAWH is sitting in the shadows of the Government, issuing commands to everyone but appearing to have disbanded. Even some members think it's been disbanded. They are WRONG! And they will be PUNISHED by a swift kick to the back of the face.

Traditions[edit]

Here are some proud DiAWH Traditions:

  • Kicking the back of the face
  • Shouting "BAHOOZIMA!", the DiAWH Warcry.
  • Orgies
  • Killing anything that is alive
  • Reviving that which is dead, just to kill it again
  • Rereviving that which is dead, just to kill it again
  • Rerereviving that... you get the idea.
  • Ninja training
  • Pirate training
  • Issuing commands
  • Breaking the 10 Commandments
  • Eating pie
  • Shopping on EBay
  • Owning Microsoft

See also[edit]