Dianne Feinstein

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Dianne Feinstein is California's senior U.S. Senator and a member of the Democratic Party.

Political Career[edit]

Feinstein grew up in that place with lots of gay people and was elected to the city's Board of Supervisors in 1961. She ran for Mayor several times, but she had trouble winning for several reasons, including the fact that even though the rest of the world considered her liberal, she was a conservative extremist by San Francisco standards. Finally, she became Mayor by assassinating the incumbent and declaring herself dictator. At that point, the San Francisco-ites recognized the power of the Great God Feinstein, bowed down to her, and re-elected her.

In 1990, Feinstein ran for Governor of California, but as the rest of California had not yet recognized her divinity, she lost to Republican U.S. Senator Pete Wilson. Wilson resigned from the Senate to become Governor. Two years later, there was a special election to determine whether to keep the person that Wilson had chosen as a replacement in the Senate or get a different Senator. By then, Feinstein had revealed her Godly powers to California, and she unleashed her wrath against Wilson's chosen replacement, soundly defeating him. Ever since then, Californians have faithfully worshiped Feinstein. Some have even been known to burn incense at polling stations to please her, and to scare away Republicans.

It is rumored that Feinstein will run for Governor again in 2010. She has not confirmed nor denied this, preferring to keep the other candidates in suspense over whether they should be competing against each other like rabid mice or fleeing from the mighty Feinstein.


Feinstein is considered a moderate Democrat. Some real liberals in the Democratic Party think that she is too conservative and should be replaced by someone more liberal, like Barbara Boxer. Most liberals disagree, pointing out that if Boxer won Feinstein's Senate seat, then she would have to resign her original Senate seat to take it, and that Feinstein, being God, would inevitably win the special election to the vacated Senate seat. The only net result of this would be that Feinstein's Senate seniority would be reset, which would result in less federal money going to California.

Some Republicans dislike Feinstein for being too liberal, but the Republican Party is considered an extremist fringe group in California, so No one really cares what they think.

All in all, there is very little opposition to Feinstein within California. This is a sharp contrast to many moderate Republicans who everyone hates for either being too liberal or too conservative. The difference has nothing to do with the political parties, just the fact that Feinstein is California's God.

                  She totally doesn't look like the Devil.