Die Hard

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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Die Hard.
This man is definitely going to die hard.

Die Hard is the medical term for death of a male while erect. Medical science has been unable to determine the specific cause, but has developed several theories for why a man would die hard. Such theories include:

  • Being over the age of 80, taking too much Viagra, and then celebrating your 50th wedding anniversary with some whips and chains.
  • Having a huge penis that requires so much blood from the body to form an erection, that it kills the person due to the excessive blood loss.
  • Having sex with an obese whale-woman who likes to be on top, crushing the man.
  • Having sex with a guy's wife and that guy walks in on them.

The Documentary[edit]

Bruce Willis has hosted a documentary on Die Hard Prevention. Willis became an advocate of Die Hard prevention when his good friend Matthew McConaughey's father died hard. Willis has vowed to spread information and awareness of the condition by releasing a series of documentaries known as the Die Hard Quadrilogy.

The four videos show the everyday life of a patient told by his doctor that he has a 95 percent chance to die hard that night. The video follows the hardships and struggles he faces during the next eight hours, before ultimately getting a boner and dying. These documentaries are based on Willis' life experiences of talking to McConaughey about his father's life experiences.

Further Reading[edit]

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Die Hard is the medical term for death of a male while erect.

Die Hard series
Die Hard (1988) • Die Hard 2 (1990)