Die Poes

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Warningex.gif Warning: This article is "kak", reading it may result in the urge to fornicate with your daughters, sport a moustache and wear a comb in your socks. It may even force you to hate black people.
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'Die Poes' is the official money currency of the Afrikaners' Empire of Orania. 'Die Poes' means "The Pussy" in Lower Oraniac or Afrikaans. One Poes is currently worth a packet of salted nuts and 2 chickens. It is believed that 'Die Poes' originated out of necessity in Orania when it became clear that daughters were actually a non-renewable resource. The cultural act of selling daughters for alcohol and a pack of cigarettes was discarded soon after 'Die Poes' was adopted in Orania and parts of South Africa. 'Die Poes' has subsequently been adopted by the majority of the Northern Cape Province of South Africa.

It needs to be noted to that 'Die Poes' sounds extremely similar "Jy Poes" (You Pussy) in colloquial Western Cape Englishishyafrikaans. Use of this term is usually, and inconveniently, followed by a knifing and thus should be used with extreme caution by potential visitors to the Cape Flats of Cape Town, South Africa,.

Die Poes[edit]

This is not 'Die Poes', but much like the old South African Rand, 'Die Poes' also features a freaky-looking moustached chick on it. Who the fuck is that moustached chick?.

The internationally recognised symbol for 'Die Poes' is V. Although, for a very brief moment in time, it was $. The Afrikaners eventually settled on V after a goat was sacrificed to Satan, and its entrails fell into the shape of a V or maybe it was just a random "mess of guts". Regardless, it struck a nerve and the Afrikaners accepted it to be a sign from the Dark Lord.

Public Response[edit]

Feminists have lauded 'Die Poes' as the currency of the future. It has become so popular that the value of a typical V note increased from being worth one chicken to its current value of a packet of salted nuts and 2 chickens. The majority of Afrikaners are still unsure whether to use the paper money to wipe their bums or as fuel for their fires.

Those in the know consider 'Die Poes' to be awesome.

“Eish, it's sexy neh”

~ Jacob Zuma on commenting on 'Die Poes'.

“It's so pink... ”

~ A random American tourist on commenting on 'Die Poes'.

“I really like the feel of it, it's so soft ”


Cape Townians have been the loudest in their condemnation of 'Die Poes', primarily because a similar currency (The Vag) would have gone into circulation once Cape Town and the Western Cape gained its independence from South Africa. However, most South Africans agree that Cape Townians are retarded, and quite frankly "who cares what they think".


Future? What future? Linear time is a fabrication of the mind. There is no future. We are being lied to. As for 'Die Poes' who knows? Do I look like an analyst? Do you think I have a crystal ball in my pocket. Jesus man, I'm just a shoe salesman.

See also[edit]