Dimentio

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“I met him at an insane asylum”

~ Tamia

Dimentio is a gay clown from the video game, Super Paper Mario. He likes to perform magic tricks.

Early life[edit]

At age 25, Dimentio was committed to the Mushroom Insane Asylum due to his extreme insanity, violent acts of murder (while making jokes), and twisted experiments involved in his magic tricks. However, Dimentio practiced magic tricks alone in his cell, and learned the ability to warp between dimensions. He used this power to escape from the asylum, and left that dimension for good.

As Count Bleck's servant[edit]

Dimentio's apocalypse novel that inspired Bleck to become evil.

Dimentio wrote a novel that depicted the Apocalypse. Blumiere, an ordinary man with a cape and a monocle, went Emo after his abusive father brutally murdered his girlfriend. While searching for a knife to self-mutilate, Blumiere found a copy of Dimentio's novel, which his father has purchased. Blumiere hid in the attic of his house and read the book. Dimentio had written about all dimensions being sucked into a disintegration portal. Blumiere was inspired by it, and given that the portal was dark, he ditched his original name, Blumiere, as it sounded too similar to "light", and chose a new one" Count Bleck, since Bleck sounds like "Black", the darkest color in the spectrum.

Dimentio heard about Bleck's attempts at destroying dimensions on the radio, and he realized that someone had read his book. So he rushed off to meet Bleck and introduced himself to him. Recognizing Dimentio as his inspiration, Bleck immediately hired him as one of his loyal minions, the other two being O'Chunks, a muscleman on steroids, and Mimi, a girl who had absorbed the energy of a Duplighost she destroyed, giving her the ability to transform into anyone she wanted to.

The Dark Prophecy[edit]

Dimentio was the dark one mentioned in his novel, so whenever Bleck spoke as if he were the dark one, Dimentio said nothing, since he was planning to betray Bleck so he could read Bleck's diary without being flamed by him. Pretty soon, a plumber who appeared to be a legendary hero arrived in another dimension, so Bleck sent Dimentio to kill him. Dimentio was afraid that the plumber would bash him on the head with a wrench, so instead he sabotaged a mechanical dragon named Fracktail, who fought Mario, the plumber. Mario killed Fracktail in the end.

Eventually, Bleck forced Dimentio to fight Mario, who was now teamed up with a married couple; a beautiful princess named Peach and a cute and cuddly turtle king named Bowser. Mario, Peach, and Bowser eventually entered a gigantic tree through a secret entrance (which was clearly labeled), and encountered Dimentio. Dimentio teleported them to a dimemsion that increases his strength by 256. Unfortunately, Dimentio's carpenter who made the dimension was afraid of Dimentio, being a clown, and he was even more frightened of gay clowns, and he was so nervous that he accidentally fixed the dimension so that anyone inside it has their power increased - including Dimentio's mortal enemies! They defeated Dimentio easily and he ran away crying.

Tragic Love[edit]

Dimentio fell in love with an insane king, King Croacus, the king of a herd of plant people. Together, they duct taped vegetables to the heads of several cavemen in order to brainwash them. Later, O'Chunks fought against Mario, Peach, and Bowser, but was badly beaten and was about to jump off a cliff in defeat when Dimentio brainwashed him with a shred of cabbage, turning him into the mighty O'Cabbage! While wandering through King Croacus's cave, the three heroes encountered O'Cabbage, and defeated him. O'Cabbage ran away bawling like a baby, and soon they fought King Croacus. They defeated him by poking him in the eye and throwing him violently into a concrete wall.

Revenge[edit]

Dimentio was consumed with rage and vengeance against those who killed his beloved husband. Despite the fact that Mimi and Mr. L (Bleck's newest minion who was really Mario's brother Luigi, forced by Bleck's assistant Nastasia to stare at a magic picture until he was hypnotized) were under direct orders by the count to watch O'Chunks and make sure he didn't weasel out of his punishment (Nastasia forced him to sing the Spongebob Squarepants opening song 1000 times), Dimentio managed to convince them both to attack Mario, Peach, and Bowser. They did, if only to escape O'Chunks's Spongebob song, but were soundly defeated. Mr. L had been Dimentio's last hope to avenge King Croacus's death, so Dimentio killed him out of disappointment.

Dimentio then tracked down Mario, Peach, and Bowser, and killed the three of them himself, thus exacting his revenge. Satisfied, Dimentio returned to Castle Bleck. Unfortunately, Jadis, the Queen of HFIL (Home for Infinite Losers, where people go when they die) was approached by Mario and Luigi, and they bribed her with Turkish Delight (her favorite food) to bring them back to life. The plumbers eventually found a way to return to HFIL, alive, and rescue the princess and turtle from death istelf. Dimentio was angry about this.

The Final Showdown[edit]

Bowser and Peach eventually killed and were killed by by O'Chunks and Mimi, while they were storming Bleck's castle, and Mario and Weegee encountered Dimentio. Dimentio was infatuated by the Luigi's mustache and asked him to marry him. Luigi refused, so Dimentio made fun of his mustache. Luigi got very angry about this and hit Dimentio in the head with a rock. Dimentio was mortally wounded, so he selfdestructed, killing Luigi in the process.

Jadis saw fit to send Bowser, O'Chunks, Peach, Mimi, Luigi, and Dimentio back, in time for Bowser, Peach, and Luigi to help Mario defeat Count Bleck. For bringing back an evil psychopath, Jadis was fired and replaced by King Yemma. Dimentio grabbed a bazooka and shot it at the wounded Bleck, but Nastasia jumped in front of him and was blown to bloody bits! Dimentio then transformed Luigi into a ball of cabbage and ate him, along with the Chaos Heart (formed by the marriage of Bowser and Peach, orchestrated by Bleck), and transformed into Super Dimentio, who was like a cross between Dimentio and Super Buu!

While Mario, Peach, and Bowser struggled with this new foe, O'Chunks and Mimi found Bleck and Tippi, who used to be Bleck's girlfriend Timpani, whose soul was sent back to the living world by Jadis, in the form of a butterfly. They were able to retrieve the jewels, which were believed to be lost to the fight against Bleck, and Tippi took them to Mario, Peach, and Bowser. They threw the eight heart-shaped jewels in Dimentio's eye, blinding him, and then they punched, kicked, and bit his head continuously until he was completely destroyed, leaving only Luigi and the Chaos Heart.

Bleck and Tippi got married at the altar to stop the Chaos Heart, but as its final act, the Chaos Heart came to life and grabbed them and took them with it as it was destroyed.

Afterlife[edit]

After his death, Dimentio was hoping to meet King Croacus in HFIL, but was disappointed to learn from King Yemma that Croacus had been sent back by Jadis. Dimentio begged King Yemma to send him back, but he refused. Dimentio tried to fight him, but King Yemma got him in his Yemma Lock and overpowered him. He then locked him up in prison. Now that he was dead, Dimentio was unable to teleport between dimensions. To add even more insult, King Yemma brought Dimentio's final victim, Nastasia, back to life. A D-Man forced him to write a 100,000 word English essay while listening to Spice Girls music. He is currently still working on it. Mario, Peach, Bowser, and Luigi occasionally show up to taunt him in his cell every day.

Family[edit]

Dimentio's father is Ares, the God of War. When Dimentio was 11, Ares was eventually killed by an owl and put into an eternal sleep in HFIL. Dimentio's mother is Xel'lotath, an Ancient, who was bitch-slapped and eventually eaten by a Thugee cult member named Chattar Lal, while Dimentio was 17. Dimentio also has a brother named Kefka, who currently resides in the Mushroom Insane Asylum.

Dimentio has four cousins, all of whom reside in one dimension. Their names are Jack Napier, Oswald Cobblepot, Selina Kyle, and Edward Nygma, also known as the Joker, the Penguin, the Catwoman, and the Riddler, respectively. Dimentio's uncle is Harvey Dent, a.k.a. Two-Face. All of them currently reside in the nuthouse except for the Penguin, who fled to the Arctic, where he is reported to have tripped and fallen into an active volcano.

However, some speculate that Dimentio was really a demented duck who was changed into a human by the eight children of Sauron, and that Ares and Xel'lotath adopted him so they would have someone younger to boss around. Nevertheless, Dimentio inherited their insanity. As a result, his own brother looked like Dr. Phil compared to him.

Magic tricks[edit]

Dimentio's favorite magic tricks to perform are:

  • Pulling off a person's arm and changing the arm into spiders (preferably yellow spiders and tarantulas)
  • Making a person gruesomely melt (first the skin, then the muscles and organs, and finally the bones)
  • Turning a person's insides into bugs, snakes, and eels
  • Freezing ice into an icicle and stabbing the nearest innocent victim with it
  • Transforming a human into a stick of cotton candy and then selling it to the highest bidder
  • Making an hourglass full of bugs materialize around a person
  • Performing gay marriage between himself and a random man, resulting in Dimentio sucking the life out of the groom with a kiss
  • Teleporting mountains on top of cities
  • Slicing people in half
  • Making people disappear inside a hat
  • Sucking people into a television
  • Making people hurt when he wants them to
  • Teleportation (usually between dimensions)
  • Levitation
  • Turning people into cabbage or other vegetables