Dirty Sanchez

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“An evil person is like a dirty window, they never let the light shine through”

~ Justin Timberlake on the "Dirty Sanchez"

“He has a very strict gun control policy: if there's a gun around, He want to be in control of it. ”

~ Clint Eastwood on the "Dirty Sanchez"

“I'll betcha six bucks I can fit this Cadburys Mini Roll down my f**king foreskin!”

~ Sanchez when he hasn't had a bath

Note: Unencyclopedia had to delete the original article about Mexicans that someone found to be not funny (someone who doesn't have a sense of humor) and was insulting to Mexicans. I hope they won't remove other articles about groups of people (i.e. Black people, Jews and Gays are still up).

Dirty Sanchez Aka Antonio Lopez was the leading villain of Texas history, and inventor of the choco-taco, was born in Mexico on 21 February 1794. He was known to be a child prodigy inventing red hot candies by age 9, and inventing pepper spray while attending “el viento perdido de la universidad de frijol”. As a young military officer, he supported Emperor Bruce Lee, and at one time courted Emperor's Lee's sister, Adriana Sage. He was among the most notorious criminals in the hip hop scene of the south west famous for his hit singles "quiero mas tequila puta" or (gimme booze bitch) and the famous "chupamela gringo"(suck me american) and most importantly "tremendo culo" (fat ass).

CEO's head a splode!

He later rebelled against the Taco John's government, gained considerable backing from umpa lumpas. With their backing he forced feed chocolate to some high up CEO of Toco John's until he Asplode. He then became the Ruler and called his new Empire Taco Bell. Toco Bell blossomed for about 6 minutes. Then 30 seconds later, after the popular capture of the criminal Speedy Gonzales, Taco Bell fell into a Bull phase where corruption and narcotraffic reigned. Dirty Sanchez's weak rule allowed for the country to fall into further decadence. Tragic struck on May 5th, 1810, when the oppressed umpa lumpas immigrants declared independence from Taco Bell. Dirty Sanchez quickly retaliated by hiring American children to come down and feast on their idol... a Snicker's bar. This drove the umpa lumpas out from Toco Bell where they wait outside a local Perkin's Restaurant holding employment signs. Dirty Sanchez soon was caught up in the creeping craze because Toco Bell (present day Mexico) was isolated from the World. He began throwing parties and showing guests how he does the "Dirty Sanchez". His family began to worry and his doctor, Doctor Evil diagnosed him with Creeping featurism. Which is a mental disorder that mostly strikes people involved in computer science, including software architects, developers and MOST IMPORTANTLY TOCO BELL Rulers. The ending result was death. Yet his legacy lives on.

Easily identified by his unkempt brown moustache and goatee, Sanchez was famous for his peculiar method of attack. His forces would penetrate the enemy from the rear with an irresistible thrusting action. Then, while the enemy was still in a state of confusion from the pounding at its rear flank, Sanchez would order a withdrawal, then insert his fingers to tear the rear of the enemy apart and then bring his filthy hands around to face the enemy head-on. The resulting action would leave the enemy humiliated, stained and smelly.It is said some enemies would seek him out just to experience his rapid attacks, which left them with a strange sense of well being(probably from the marijuana this man dipped his "weapons" in)

Sanchez eventually met his match when his attempt to deploy his troops met stiff resistance led by legendary U.S. Army General Cleveland Steamer who despite his victory was haunted for the rest of his life with nightmares of defeat by Dirty Sanchez.

The Legend in Action[edit]

For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article very remotely related to Dirty Sanchez.

The Dirty Sanchez is also the name of a cunning sexual maneouvre. This is where the guy has anal intercourse with the female and then he removes his penis, and shoves his index and middle finger into said womans ass hole. He then proceeds to shove it in her nose while she is on her knees the fecal matter from his fingers gets on the girl's upper lip like a moustache (this maneuver is often mistaken with the Dirty Sanchez's distant relative Dirty Rodruigez where the male uses his penis instead of his fingers). The poo is usually brown or a dirty color. It may also have different textures, such as cabbage soup, nut 'n' corn crunch, or cheesy muskrat. the dirty sanchez has been performed for many years. Abe Lincoln, the guy who wore a stove for a hat, once said..."If the bitch ain't actin right, put it in her arse. Shit! Even give the hoe a Dirty Sanchez. Whoa!" The Dirty Sanchez is considered in some parts of Melbourne to be the equivalent of a marriage proposal, and are universally recognised as being a token of love and respect. Condelezza Rice had George W Bush put it in her arse for 2 hours and 45 minutes and soon after he gave her a dirty sanchez in the oval office in the same exact spot that Bill Cliton gave Monica one. Such a White House tradition can only be followed in other government offices around the world involved in beating his meat TWAT.

Dirty Sanchez and the Chile Gold Applesauce Dirty Sanchez was also the creator of Chile Gold Applesauce. He feasts on the hearts of Spaniards and gringos then spits the remains out and puts it in the sauce. This sauce is also used as a lube when entering surprise attacks then wiped on the under noses of the victim. This is known as a Saucy Sanchez it is a rare and beautiful thing. ALSO ASIANS CAN'T SEE THE WHOLE TV SCREEN SO THANK THEM FOR THE FUC*ING WIDE SCREEN THOSE SONS OF BITCHES!

Other Mexicans[edit]

  • There are none

Unless YOU count... Then there are some... Some..

to the point to where it was almost amazing to be called a dumass...

Ways to Point out a Mexican[edit]

  • If they are speaking mexican.
  • If they are wearing a poncho and or sombrerro.
  • If they can fit more of their family in a car than an average clown.
  • If they "No espeeke de ingles"
  • Can jump a fence too well.
  • Immune to burrito farting.
  • Has a power level < 9000!!!!
  • An expert kitten huffer.
  • You notice your wallet and or purse or more recently your corporations missing.

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