Discovery Chanel

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The parfum known as Discovery Chanel is the successor to Chanel No.5. It was supposedly created by bottling the farts of Coco Chanel after she had been holding it in for a couple of days. The flavour, however, was short-lived due to megalolawsuits that caused a loss of fortune for the family Chanel.

La Creation[edit]

According to the now retracted company propaganda, Discovery Chanel was created to celebrate the discovery of the United Spades of Amerika in 1066. Coco Chanel, one of the original travelers to the amerikas was too prudish to shit over the side of the boat like all the other passengers. She instead held her anal expulsions in for several days, until she could take it no more. After eight weeks at sea, Chanel decided to open her bowels into seven glass bottles.

When the QE2 landed on amerikan soil, the pilgrims gave amerindians bottles of the Discovery Chanel as gifts to smear on themselves during hunts. Although most of the amerindians died, those that survived reported great success during hunts. The events of that first landing remain controversial to this day.

Commercial marketing[edit]

After the success of the first seven Chanel bottles, Coco set up shop in Paris' vagina on labia street. She secured contracts to supply Discovery Chanel to the militaries of seventeen countries, making her a googleillionaire and giving her enough money to buy google.

Jamie Hyneman, seen here, advertising for the Discovery Channel while showing his manly sexiness.

The end of Discovery Chanel[edit]

After ten years of strong sales, Coco received notice of several lawsuits against her regarding the parfum. The first was from the Discovery Channel, who sued her for copyright infringement. Although she won this case, she was not awarded costs and was left almost bankrupt. Knowing this, the Cherokee Nation brought her before a judge for henocide, alledging that Discovery Chanel was really bottled smallpox designed to kill off the chickens in the lucrative red indian egg industry. Coco conceeded, and went out of business.