Disharmony

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Disharmony is awesome. Everyone will reject each other, fight each other, kill each other, etc. It may be mistaken for riot but this lasts longer than riot. Disharmony is a part of the human body too, which is the switch to death at old age. Mostly everyone, including you, or your mom, have disharmony. Don't ask.

History of Disharmony[edit]

Discord, the lord of weirdness discordianism

When Adam and Eve ate the fruit, they realized that they are naked, and disharmony lodged itself inside their brains (And the neck), becoming part of it. Cain kills Abel because Cain was jelly at Abel's fame. Cain became the first murderer. His gene is stuck to everyone and that gene always contain disharmony. It was passed from generation to generation, except to Christians and Buddhists. Even Hitler created disharmony to everyone. But the lord of disharmony is Discord from My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, a mutant with human feet, horse head, fish tail, snake eyes, moose horns, monkey penis, bear hands, and eagle beak. Otherwise, the above statement about Discord's appearance is a lie, which this statement is a lie either. Disharmony was then rediscovered by some bearded man and proclaimed war against America.

Uses[edit]

This is the cause of disharmony between sandwich and hamburger.

Disharmony has many greatest 100 things it can give. The most important ones being:

  • Violence - Pretty awesome actions against thy fellow neighbor.
  • Vengeance - When they insult you, you have the chance to kick their ass with any weapon of your desire, it being a toothbrush or an axe.
  • Vicious beating - Well, it does not mean that you cannot see the fun you gave to others.
  • Chaos - We love seeing people kill each other, right? No? Screw you.

Do you want disharmony?[edit]

If yes, you're insane. If no, thank God.

If yes[edit]

Do you really want it? Ok, this guide will help you on starting a bloodbath. Just make sure you don't get killed.

Finding the right victims[edit]

The best victim of disharmony is the one you're helping, be it your mom or your boss. Just don't whack your boss, let him whack you.

You want disharmony? YOU GET DISHARMONY! But let's just find some victims first. Most people are victims of disharmony. Some simple taunting (Calling them gay, saying you slept with their wife or mother, or even vandalizing their house) might be enough to piss them off so much they resort to violence. But let's just find the right victims, okay? If you choose to taunt God, you get pwned hardly, forcing you to repent. If you choose to taunt Chuck Norris, the disharmony will last quickly, because he will kick your ass to the moon... Lightly.

Finding the right place[edit]

There's many places to choose from. Just not Albania or India, because they will not care about the riots. China is the best choice. Religious debates can be a great source of disharmony. Just yell that your religion will save you. Make sure that you're in Saudi Arabia and tell them that Muhammad is a complete douchebag. That way the islams will raid your house the next day you wake up.

PissCorp[edit]

PissCorp (PCP) is an agency that focuses on disharmony. It was invented by Discord after he turned a game into a clusterfuck. His minions were scattered all over the world. One minion of Discord's PissCorp made disharmony happen nearby a river. It resulted to a riot. PCP earns money when people hate each other. Each minute of a big ass chaos give them $5,000 dollars. No wonder you participated with them too, heartless dickhead. PCP earned a lot of warnings and bans from other countries yet they continue their quest to destroy mankind's love and tolerance unnoticed. Here's a video about a soldier of PissCorp making people fight/kill each other.

How to stop disharmony[edit]

Jesus Christ once said "If your enemy throws you a rock, throw them some bread". No, not literally toss them a baguette to his face, but just act nice to them, even if they killed your family, burned down your house, beaten you up, or all of the above done at the same time. Please be warned, though, that the one you try to stop them from preforming disharmony might be a serial killer, bloody murderer or Bloody Mary. You can try the following things:

  • Be calm and gentle
  • Tell them how Jesus loves us
  • Offer them a drink (Make sure you peed on it)
  • Play monopoly with them (Except if he loses a lot, therefore pissing them off even more)
  • Practice yoga together
  • If a psychopath, strip naked, wear a condom on your head, lie on the ground and accept it.
  • Etc. I'm running out of ideas

Disharmony as a weapon[edit]

The insane gun helps in making disharmony happen by shooting it at one guy (Preferably a monarch or high ranking leader) then starting some random debates (religious or not) or just enslaving the people to build him a pyramid to make an everlasting testament of his extreme awesomeness, causing a really bad riot.

See Also[edit]