The EuroDisney is the biggest place on the Milky Way. Its dungeons and stairways to Heaven makes it bigger then the Sun itself. Contrary to popular belief, the EuroDisney was built before the Disneyland and has absolutely no relation with it, whatsoever.
Created by Walt Disney's twin brother, Walt EuroDisney, the amusement park's located on the shore of the sunny Denmark. In its creation, in 1911, there were just three rides, and the open-bar on the pool, which is the only thing that remains today. Walt began to expand his land, by purchasing the neighbor lots, such as the Denmark Museum of Modern Art, the County Firefighters Base and the Biologic Preservation Study Center, until his property reached one mol of square acres.
The official song of EuroDisney is It’s a Bourgeois World, After All.
Until the European Union appeared into existence, the official language of EuroDisney was Esperanto, which while universal was not on the EU approved departmental list. The EU proclaimed that EuroDisney would have to yield to the language needs of its all of its people. However applicants to EuroDisney must still master Esperanto before they are allowed to work for minimum wage.
Walt needed to attract the kids, so he copied some of his brother's characters and mixed them into his own ideas
- Mickey Mouse was the evil wizard
- Minnie Mouse was the fat prostitute
- Chip and Dale were the ambiguously gay brothers
- Donald Duck was the annoying relative
- Goofy was not the talking dog and thus free of that retarded accent
- Pluto was the talking dog but had more of a lisp than a "Gulyup"
- Winnie the Poofter was the bear dressed as Oscar Wilde.
- Bugs Bunny was a fruit snack
Rides and Attractions
- French Cafe - Only Euro Disney could provide such an exquisite experience, but the crude bourgeois masses can never fully appreciate the art of the chef or the care of the server. Drink your putrid wine, eat your stale bagette, and go - go now and tell all your friends how you dined in a French Cafe and it changed your life, you bourgeois capitalistic pigs, krauts and limeies.
- Experience Norway's Comedy The longest running attraction at Euro Disney, will have you in stitches. You can't "fjord" to miss this one!
- Tea Cup Ride Yes, Euro Disney has the American Tea Cup ride, but riders actually sit in full cups full of hot England's best tea and steep until done.
- Haggis House of Horrors Experience the miserly best that EuroDisney has to offer as you explore a giant goat stomach, stuffed with oats, sausage, and a tapitan of ouscarvar. But beware of the kilt wearing, sword swinging heathen clan warriors that want to chop you up and stuff you into a goats stomach of your own.
- The Dutch Treat Embarking on your keel boat, get ready for a trip on the State Sponsored LSD Sensation. You'll be having flashbacks about this bad trip for years to come.
- Queen for a Day Expirience the excitement that Queen Elizabeth lives everyday. Riders get a dowdy dress, frumpy hat and the obligatory hand bag. Learn the secret Queens wave. Have your footman take the Royal Corgis for a walk. Snort at the latest Camilla Parker Bowles jokes. And then prepare for bed. So much to do, how will you get it all done in a day?
- French Kiss Ride the Wild Tongue! Riders enter one of two simulated human mouths, lash themselves to the amazing real looking, and feeling, tongue and wait for the mouths to lip lock. The real fun starts as your subjected to 3G's of pure unadulterated tonsil hockey. Which side wins?
- It’s a Bourgeois World, After All Delight to the 1960s animanitronics in a French style Cabaret where the same annoying entertainment has been been thrilling families of all nationalities for generations. Revel in the stereotypes and creeping commercialism, but keep your disdain secret. No one will ever know but you how much you really love watching American televisions shows and vacationing in Saint Tropez because you of the bare chested women. Un balloon rouge? How very pedestrian, indeed.
Disney's Satyricon is the EuroDisney’s after hours park designed for adults who wish to frolic about after leaving their children in the care of a stranger posing as an au pair. Entertainment venues include:
- Club Blue Angel in Red Light (leather attire required) Saturday no cover for dominatrix attire.
- Ribald's Olde Tyme Pub is a lusty-lusty British beer hall complete with authentic eastend London old women who play the squeeze box and sing old time favorites “We’re Going to Hang the Kaiser Under der Linden Tree” and White Cliffs of Dover.
- Discothèque Ennui. Unwind to the pulsating beat of unyieldingly loud electronic disco music as you lean against a column, watching the dance floor with disinterest. Sniff as men pester you for a dance. You are better than this, but only because you are here, living, as the French say, in the moment.
- Café Andorra. The worlds smallest coffee shop, offers you one type of coffee brewed daily. A souvenir? Postage stamps, from a postage stamp sized nation. How charming.
- Skinheads Club House offers visitors the chance to relive those days of protest and getting ones face smashed about. Music nightly by the Soccer Thugs.
- Bangers and Fags Caberet provides a non-threatening, safe entertainment venue for homosexuals, heterosexual couples who think its fun to take up the dance floor in gay clubs and closeted men who have told their wives that they are just going out from some ice. Special evening events include Thursday nights as Will & Grace night, the wild and remarkably fun "Fist em' Fridays" and Sunday afternoon tea-dances. Be sure to visit the back room where you're sure to pick someone or something up.