Dobby

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“It's Dobby the house elf!”

~ Dobby on Himself

“I hate that little pest! I'll tell you what would be for your own good ya bloody stalkin' troll, leave me the fuck alone!”

~ Harry Potter on Dobby

“Yay, yay! A SOCK! Dobby is free! & Dobby also got a book, a sock & a book! Dobby just cant believe i got a sock! like, dobby's wanted one of these things since dobby was born!”

~ Dobby spazzes on about his sock
"Dobby has always loved Harry Potter. Dobby loves Harry Potter strongly, in a gay sexual way."

“No one has ever seen Dobby and E.T. in the same film. Suspicious?”

~ Oscar Wilde on Dobby

Dobby (June 28, 1986 - June 28, 2004) AKA Harry Potter's stalker is a short, thin, ugly, big-nosed and wrinkly house elf. He wears an old duvet cover as a robe, to cover up his bits and bobs. He loves to hurt himself and Harry while claiming he has done it for Harry's own good. He also enjoys burning himself with hot irons, hitting himself in the head with anything availabe, and eating cat poop. Dobby is the offspring of the world's first man-to-man-reproduction, consisting Jar Jar Binks and Goullum. Dobby was also revealed to be a distant second cousin to Yoda. In his later years, Dobby decided to perform a DIY sex change, now named 'Dooby' she prowls the streets at night, hoping for a late night quickie with unsuspecting muggles.

Dobby's Gay Crush On Harry Potter[edit]

“Dobby has always loved Harry Potter. When Dobby thinks about Harry Potter, Dobby gets very desperate and horny for his love.”

~ Dobby on His Sexual Feelings about Harry Potter


Dobby Began stalking Harry Potter since he was born. Dobby had to hide all his romantic feelings from Harry because he knew he would be considered a beastiality pedophile. Dobby watched from a distance until Harry's 12th birthday. Then the stalker side of Dobby hit an all-time high and he broke into private drive to lick Harry's underwear. He was discovered in the room by Harry later that day. By that time Dobby had already jizzed on half the room's contents. Harry was awestruck at the mess and chased the bat-eared miget down to the living room. Dobby was tricking Harry's gaurdians into believing that Harry threw the cake onto the visitors head. Harry vowed revenge. He plotted to find and kill that evil creature. Harry manged to escape from his gaurdians house with the help of his friends, the Weasly's.

Later that year Dobby began to plan a way to get Harry naked, he was desperate to make a family with him. Dobby had a DIY sex change last year so he could have sex with Harry. But Dobby knew it was not the right time for a family until Harry excepts his love. That night Dobby snuck into Harry's bedroom and put invisible ink all over Harry's night clothes and hid in Harry's wardrobe, he also put the remains of the ink in his Bodyspray bottle. Dobby suceeded, and Harry, who was getting changed saw the invisibility spell happen, he was so humiliated. Dobby came out of the wardrobe when Harry went into bed, with invisible night clothes still on. Dobby went on top of Harry, licked and bit on Harry's face, fingered him, kissed and hugged, snapped his fingers, and vanished suddenly. But, Dobby was not finished and wanted to express more love to Harry.

After that summer, Dobby began stealing Harry's clothes while he was in Hogwartz potions class. He returned some, but the remaning ones were jizzed beyond belief. He was going to make Harry Potter his. He made a plan to pop the question to Harry when he was alone. Dobby asked "Harry, Dear Sweet Harry. May I ask you to have sex with me?" while he started taking of his clothes. Harry Potter was astonished with belief and full of joy. Harry after added while feeling horny "Yes! Oh Yes! It's my only way to save Hogwartz School Of Witchcraft and Wizardry." Harry and Dobby had a fantastic time in Harry's bedroom expressing more love. After they wanted to move out, and they did after a few months. They have been having a perfect family life in Los Angeles, California until Dumbledore had a task for Harry Potter, and Dobby couldn't live on his own in America. So they moved back into England by renting a flat near private drive. After 2 weeks they arrived in Hogwartz and was ready to save his school with his beloved partner Dobby.

Harry Loses It[edit]

Harry Potter cheated on Dobby, by taking the evil troll's side!

Dobby followed Harry home to private drive that summer. He was completley confident that Harry would realize they where destined for each other. He had bought the most expensive engagement ring he could afford, (a used washer from a local junk-yard), and was prepared to answer any doubts Harry might have about how their relationship could work out in the end. He even wrote a speech he was going to recite to Harry when he asked him to have sex with him, like he did in Harry's second year at Hogwartz.

But things were all to hard to predict for Dobby. Harry spotted the evil troll, and immeditly assulted him with lightening. He told him to beg for mercy. But Dobby was heart-broken and couldn't speak. He let himself get owned by Harry Potter, and died of a broken heart on the spot. Harry then beat Dobby's corapse around, with tears in his eyes. He realized soon after, that he had a dead troll in his muggle home. He snuck out of private drive late one night while his fat relatives slept. He burried Dobby's stinking corpse in a nearby playground sandbox, he also kept Dobby's engagement ring as a full-time memory of the love that was so strong in his heart.

JK Rowling's Cover-Up Of Dobby's Death[edit]

When JK Rowling discovered one of the principle characters in the Harry Potter series was dead, she quickly covered-up all the evidence (or so she thought.) She decided to have Dobby set free by Harry Potter. Later on, some 4 years after the fact, Dobby's corpse was discovered by a young child at the local playground, near private drive. She was instantly screwed. The girl was reported to be called Stacey Gibson and she was 6 years old. Stacey was playing in the sandbox when she kept feeling mysteriously sad, she didn't know what it was. She tried to ignore it, but it was still bothering her so she decided to play somewhere else in the playground. After getting up, right in front of her was the spirit of Dobby! She was frozen in fear as Dobby's eyes were glowing red and had blood all over his robes. Stacey called out "MUM! HELP! MUM! PLEASE COME!". Her Mum came running, as she was busy sorting out her younger 5 year old brother Tom. Stacey explained what happened but her Mum did not believe her. Still from today, Stacey Gibson will never forget that very afternoon at 2.48pm, when she saw Dobby's miserable spirit trying to search for Harry Potter.

Dobby: The Living Dead[edit]

Dobby showed up mysteriously at Harry Potter's House, the night before Harry was leaving to go to Los Angeles, California.

Dobby was still magical, even in death. He rose from the sandbox grave on certain nights to visit his beloved Harry Potter. Unfortunately, his testicals were eaten by seagulls during his first day in the sandbox grave, so he couldn't jizz with Harry anymore. He was owend by Harry whenever he attempted to visit him, further breaking his heart. His heart died over time, and in a good old zombie fashion, he gained a case of the munchies for human brains. He began sneeking into private drive to feed on the Dursley's brains. He began to smell like ass soon after, and Harry Potter finally grew up and moved out of private drive. Dobby disapered, hopefully for the final time....

Dobby Website Links[edit]

  • Ask Dobby.com:[1]


Harry Potter
Characters Hairy Potter · Ron Weasley · Albus Dumbledore · Severus Snape · Sirius Black · Luna Lovegood · Dobby · Lord Voldemort
Books List of Harry Potter Books · J.K. Rowling · First Draft · Catholic Church Version · Worst 100 Harry Potter Spin-off Novel Series of All Time
Places Hogwarts
Misc. Spells · Ripoffs · Snape kills Dumbledore · Dumbledore's closet · Potter's Sexuality · Inevitable Musical (Sequel)