Dodo bird

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Not to be confused with dildo.

“Are you shiting me? That was the last one? Why does this kind of stuff always happen to me?”

~ Oscar Wilde on the Dodo

“Man that tasted good!”

~ Portuguese sailor on the Dodo

“In Soviet Russia, the dodo extinguishes YOU!!!”

~ Reversal Russia on the Dodo

“What do you mean we've run out? Ah well, hand me a panda...”

~ Another Portuguese sailer on their food supplies

Thought to be extinct, the Dodo was one of the most vicious bird ever to walk the face of the earth. When the first european settlers came to the Mauritius, they brought along with them livestocks like pigs, chicken and dogs. The pigs was quickly to find the dodo bird's eggs to be very tasty.

This prompted the Dodo Attack of 1598 that killed all of the settler's livestock but one chicken. Which was then auctioned and sold to Oscar Wilde's great great grandfather for $5. The nutrition from that one chicken singlehandedly brought him back from the brink of death. Starving, the first settlers were then resorted to cannibalism, and ate their colleagues in this order: Teachers, pianists then peasants. The officials were spared to coordinate the killings.

When the next ship arrived in Mauritius, they were quickly besieged by the settlers, and were quickly defeated. They were up for the boilers until the captain suggested that the settlers hunt the dodo birds instead. It prompted the D'oh D'oh Act of 1601. In which the captain of the ship HMS Mauritian Death was appointed leader of the settler and was given the task to eliminate the threat of the Dodo.

The Empire Strikes Back under the leadership of the captain, whose name was lost to the ages but the nickname Dundee. Unbeknownst to him, the dodos, who walks on land most of the time owns a secret X-Wing capabilities to fly of in a moment's notice and divebombs any direct offensive the Empire's men execute. The first and second waves resulted in 75% loss of troops on the HMS Mauritian Death. Captain Dundee then escaped to the ship along with all the rest of the settlers and resorted to carpet bombing the mauritian island, killing most of the dodo's population, and decimating a large part of the forest which was then used by the French to conduct nuclear weapons demonstrations to sell bombs to the Arabs in 1975. Captain Dundee then commanding the roasting of every dodo beast left on the island and stuffed their skins with wood fillings. Two is known to survive to modern times. One of them was destroyed in order to conduct a DNA test. The only stuffed dodo left in this world was stolen in December 2005 from the Louvre and has not yet been recovered.

Today, the dodos are regarded to be extinct. And because the D'oh D'oh Act of 1601 is still in effect across the British empire, every found dodos are to be extinguished promptly to preserve the unity of the empire.

With the discovery of the DNA, a stuffed dodo from the British Museum was tested for DNA that resulted an uproar among scientists and proponents of Intelligent Design. The DNA showed that the dodo is closely related to sharks and wolves, an evolution impossibility and is now often used as examples for Intelligent Design's validity, claiming also that the dodo is closely related to baloons. Which God designed during his carrot top years, they claimed. The scientific world then asked the Louvre to lend them the other dodo left in the world, to which the louvre management replied: "NO. . . WAY, Man!" Scientists have also scientifically confirmed that the dodo is not related with the singer Dido, to disprove Eminem's claim that, in his words "Dido is as f*ckin' dead as the dodo."

A dodo enjoying a good smoke. This may also be a cause of its extinction.

Their extinction might have something to do with the British Empire, but nothing about their destiny is scientifically confirmed as of this writing. Though cosmic theorists like Stephen Hawking is still looking for a mathematical prove that the dodo cannot possibly still exists.

However, there are unconfirmed stories about very strange walking birds been seen all over France. These stories are unconfirmed. The unconfirmed existence of a place called France is also unconfirmed, as well.

There are also stories about strange, eerily familiar sounds in the Australian outback, which are scaring Aboriginals during the night. It is probable that these are probably wookies, which have been known nightly to scare Australian aboriginals in other countries.

The dodo's current environment is believed to be Wackyland, deep in the heart of Africa.

The most frightening possibility of all (aside from the existence of yet another country pertaining to be the 'real' France) is that the dodo's extinction was merely a pretense on their part in order that they might carry out an experiment on us - a game of diabolical operation if you will. We can only hope that we're as good at wiping out species as we think we are and that, while this almost definitely confirmed conclusion is the truth, their evil experiment has backfired. Therefore we should all untie in saying: 'Ha' to dodos and flightless birds in general as they were probably in on it too. The only question remaining is: If this was a game of diabolical operation, then who holds the specialist card for the operation that has been botched by the dodos? pooper

Dodo Wii[edit]

A rare photo of a dodo. The pink spheres are objects that allowed the dodo to control minds.

In late 2005, God made an announcement that there will be a new Dodo coming in 2007. The booming voice of God caused a tsunami in the south east Asian region. Despite the minimal loss of life, compared to the old testament, many fans of the bird can't wait for the release of the new dodo.

Fans of the Dodo was elated when in November 19, 2006. Which many fans conclude, ahead of schedule. The new Dodo Wii was released in North America. The Dodo Wii will be released on December 2, 2006 in Japan; December 7, 2006 in Australasia, Italy and Switzerland; December 8, 2006 in Europe; and December 9, 2006 in Spain.

The release was unexpected by disappointed fans for, almost a year, God has not yet released the Dodo Wii. And the release of the RexStation 3 which took the evolution scene by storm almost practically silenced the release of the Dodo Wii.

At the Launch event, select loyal fans of the Dodo was sent a special invitation from God. A one day pass to Eden to attend the launching of the new Dodo. Although touted to appear at the event, Tom Cruise and Madonna disappointed a small number of Dodo fans when they did not show up. God expressed anger at the Scientologist Cruise when he opted to marry Katie Holmes instead of spreading God's gospel of Dodo. Directed by Francis Ford Coppola. Fortunately, Scientologist lawyers were quick to act and obtained a restraining order for God not to approach Cruise within 200 yards.

The secrecy of the development of the Dodo Wii only heightened the fan's anticipation. Until it was revealed that the Dodo Wii was just that. The dodo's wee. The fan's groan trembled the garden of eden, causing some snakes to rattle in the tree of knowledge. Some airheads was offered an apple, but unfortunately, they were too dumb to take their eyes from the dodo's wee.

Aside from fans shocking disappointment that the release was just the wii part of the dodo, there's even more disappointing news that God could not made available enough supplies of the Dodo Wii at the launch date. Making many fans go home empty handed without a Wii to play with. Many factors was reported as to attribute to the lack of wiis at God's garden that day. One striking factor is that only 1 out of 5 Wiis would work during production. Making the other 4 out of obsolete although with proper therapy and/or medication, it could work. But fans was too busy with their Wiis to care for that.

God promised to release the rest of the dodo at the end of the year, and to have a more complete dodo at the next unveiling in hamburger

the dodos died because they ran out of melons {see ice age}