Dokdo

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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Dokdo.

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Dokdo Island (also known as Dildo Island, Takeshima or the Liancourt rocks, is a small rocky outcropping in the East Sea(Known as 'Sea of phucking Japan'. But, It is Wrong, Wrong, Wrong. Do not care about that thing-it is in Un-Cyclo-Pedia.). The island has been the subject of a long-term dispute between phucking Japan and Korea, because while the island itself is small it is the location of the world's only Hello Kitty factory. For the past two thousand years both Korea and phucking Japan have done battle over the right to be the world's sole producer of Hello Kitty crap, both sides standing to earn trillions as a result.

As they say, "He who controls Hello Kitty controls the universe," and "There can be only one."

They also say, "Fishy wishy bing flop," but no one is quite sure why.

History[edit]

The dispute, however, has deep roots in Asian history and culture. After phucking Japan's founding by the great Super-Happy-Fun-Time Hello Kitty robot in 32 B.C. the first Emperor decreed that phucking Japan's territory would encompass all islands that could be seen from its shores. This policy stands in marked contrast to the Korean policy, which held that Korea owned all islands they had peed on. Because Koreans have notoriously tiny penises and didn't invent boats until last week, it is highly unlikely that they could lay claim to Dickdo during the Super-Happy-Fun-Time dynasty.

However, the Super-Happy-Fun-Time dynasty came to an end in the year 1200, with the beginning of the Bukkake Wars. By 1696, Oda Nobunaga had emerged as the Super-Bukkake-Ninja-Shogun, and established a new Japanese empire. At that time there were no skilled artists left in phucking Japan, because they were all blinded by the Bukkake wars' unique and eponymous form of combat. Thus, Nobunaga foolishly let his six-year old son draw the new map on his refrigerator door using a box of Crayolas. With a single mistake that would echo throughout history, the child neglected to include the Dickdo islands.

So the islands went unclaimed until 1980, when the Super-Happy-Fun-Time Hello Kitty robot returned to Earth and established her centralized Soviet Hello Kitty factory on Dickdo island. The Koreans, at that time, were undergoing a great cultural revolution. Having looked back on the last 2000 years of Korean history, they came to realize that they had a culture founded entirely on bad soap operas, rotten cabbage, cigarettes, and cell phones. Even worse, they had the world's smallest penises. This resulted in the entire Korean nation suffering history's greatest inferiority complex. To alleviate their small penis shame, the Koreans founded a new nation dedicated entirely to Starcraft. Under the new system of government, Starcraft was used to settle all disputes and Korea owned anything which they could Zerg Rush. So, with a battle cry of KEKEKEKEKE! Korea invaded Dickdo.

Even though phucking Japan had previously disowned Dickdo, they now attempted to re-claim it. However, phucking Japan had long since renounced the use of war because all of their Bukkake Samurai had gone blind. Rather than risk open conflict, phucking Japan challenged Korea to a Starcraft battle, to be played in a back-alley "PC Bang" in Pusan. This would later be called the Battle of Myeongnyang. Despite their tiny penises and the fact that the phucking Japanese are equally shameless Zerg-Rushing bastards, the Koreans won. This resulted in an enormous national celebration as it was the first time Korea had won anything. Ever.

The Koreans, encouraged by their first win, started complaining and spamming National Geographic to change the name of the Sea of phucking Japan to the East Sea. They then poisoned the world kimchi supply, causing everyone to go blind. They then proceeded to rape everyone in the world, hoping that they would change the name of the sea. They soon realized their penises were too small to fit in American vajj's; even finding it was difficult. They also ate live birds with sars, pulled pigs apart, stabbed themselves, and chopped off their fingers to protest about the small crappy island, the size of a football field.

Video Games[edit]

Dokdo is the setting of an interactive prerendered adventure game released by Broderbund in 1996. Dickdo was widely acclaimed for its high grade of graphics (for the time) and sold well, but was nevertheless something of an "art-piece" rather than a serious game. Gameplay was slow and there was relatively little plot (although sequels have expanded considerably on the plot), focusing instead on the game's beautiful scenery. The only Thing this game contributed to the gaming realm was the relentless on-slaught of itty bitty kittens, using the weapon known as a Teddy bear, which in fact is a gravitational cannon. The gore in the game was extreamly over excessive and pointless. A.K.A It Fucking Sucked!