Dolph Ziggler

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Hi, I'm Dolph Ziggler


“Hi, I'm Dolph Ziggler.”

“He's Dolph Ziggler.”

~ Captain Obvious on Dolph Ziggler

“He's Dolph Ziggler.”

~ Vince McMahon on Dolph Ziggler

“He's Dolph Ziggler.”

~ Chuck Norris on Dolph Ziggler

“He's Dolph Ziggler.”

~ Ross Kemp on Dolph Ziggler

“He's Dolph Ziggler.”

~ Everyone on Dolph Ziggler

Dolph Ziggler AKA Dolph Motherfucking Ziggler (born on Dolph Ziggler in the year, Dolph Ziggler) is a WWE Dolph Ziggler. The man is considered one of the greatest wrestlers ever, seen to be in the same class as legends such as Braden Walker.

Personal life[edit]

Dolph Ziggler was not born, rather, he was crafted in a vat of bleach and baby oil with his sole purpose to be Sylvester Stallone's opponent in Rocky IV, where he posed as a Soviet Russian. The movie was a total disaster as the ring ended up fighting Rocky inside Dolph Ziggler.

Wrestling career[edit]

Dolph Ziggler doesn't wrestle, he uses his gift of superb athletic ability to introduce himself to WWE superstars on his weekly shows: Monday Night Ziggler, Extreme Championship Ziggler, WWE SuperZiggler and SmackZiggler. After that he began to wrestle Barack Obama for the WWE Championship. He won with a Zig Zag and a "Hi, I'm Dolph Ziggler". He defended his title in Royal Ziggler when he defeated The Great Khali by submission. Then he lost his title in WrestleZiggler to Stone Cold when Stone Cold got drunk and drank 3 beers, 4 beers, 5 beers, 19 beers, 100 beers, 1000 beers, and a shit load of beers that this bonehead wouldn't stop drinking. Dolph Ziggler gave Stone Cold a bitch slap after the match. Stone Cold was in so much pain after this slap that he handed Dolph Ziggler the title. Dolph Ziggler is still the champion.


Dolph Ziggler invnted the best wrestling finisher ever that will stay with WWE for generations. His 'Here, have some hair gel' move is amazing, and has struck fear in the hearts of many Superstars. To do his powerful move, you must slap a whole load of hair gel on your hair, comb it back, run your fingers through it and flick it to someone. He is one almighty warrior.

Golf Caddy and Cheerleader[edit]

Before becoming a Dolph Ziggler, Dolph Ziggler was Steved into becoming the golf caddy of a Mexican man who wanted to know what it was like, being male, middle class and white. It was a bitch, if you don't believe, just listen out to Ben Folds' new CD. Subsequently, Dolph became motivated to the point that he legally changed his name to Golph Ziggler. This gig lasted for a few weeks, he was under par but was later eliminated by Tiger Woods. After he was exiled by Woods, Golph Ziggler changed his name to Dolphy and became a male cheerleader. He had a tough time as he was bombarded with sewage and was then cramped into a small box with four other men, which worked to his advantage for the most part.


When Dolph Ziggler got sick of not being Dolph Ziggler, Dolph Ziggler re-bleached Dolph Ziggler's hair, re-covered Dolph Ziggler with Baby oil, and intoduced himself to the world as Tupac Shakur. He then went and popped a cap in the asses of people for fun and later decided that the name Tupac Shakur would mean the end of the bleach. Dolph then started wearing shiny tights and introduced himself to Vince McMahon, who devoted all his shows to him. His Tuesday night show was altered for a month when Braden Walker knock-knocked and knocked some brains out. Walker was then inducted into the Hall of Fame and left, leaving the Tuesday show to once again be Extreme Championship Ziggler. Eventually, this was replaced with NXZ, a show where rookies bow at the feet of Dolph Ziggler as he re-bleaches his hair.

In Wrestling[edit]


  • "Dolph Ziggler"
  • "Mr. Ziggles"
  • "Dolph Ziggler"
  • "Dolph Ziggler"
  • "Dolph Ziggler"
  • "Dolph Ziggler"
  • "Dolph Hitler"
  • "THE Dolph Ziggler"
  • "Zolph Diggler"
  • "Ashton Kutcher"
  • "Bert"
  • "Dolphin Ziggy"
  • "ZigZag"
  • "The Zig"
  • "Zigs"
  • "ZagNuts"
  • "Zighole"
  • "DZ"
  • "Zaggot"

  • Finishing and signature moves
  • Dolph Ziggler
  • Hi, My name is Dolph Ziggler
  • Here, Have some hair gel
  • That awesome kick he gave Batista that one time
  • Bitch Slap
  • Zig Zag
  • Making his opponent chase him outside the ring then jump back before the referee counts to 10
  • When all else fails, CHAIR SHOTS!!

  • Dolph Ziggler's activities
  • Introducing himself
  • Knocking out Sylvester Stallone
  • Giving Batista that kick one more time
  • Introducing himself a little more
  • Bleaching his hair (until it looks like Billy Idol's)
  • Wearing shiny tights (who doesn't?)
  • Having "Peanut Butter Time" with his dog, Dolph Ziggler
  • Putting Zip Design Thingys in His Trunks at the Area Of His Penis Named Dolph Ziggler


  • Dolph Ziggler
  • That is all