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In the past, dozen has been said to be a combination of sounds and grunts that might summon the devil if initiated properly and with enough oomph. However in recent years, when the devil can easily be subdued with popular remedies such as Pharmaceutical Drugs and the latest Ashlee Simpson album, the word dozen is continually repeated dozens of times whenever deemed dozenly proper.

History of the Word[edit]

The word is said to be invented by God under cover of night, an accusation that God categorically denies, but Jesus is said to neither reject nor confirm. Its usage started in Ancient Egypt, which they thought was a way to get back at their enslaved Hebrew population, which regarded anything said by God to be holy. In the Revolution of 2298BC the Hebrews escaped and the word fell out of usage until the Middle Ages, when Pope Posdeidon the MMII once again used it to tease the Jews. The Jews declared it mean and took to the streets in protest. The next Pope, Pope Achmed Issa El-Chef Ajh-Madin ag-Djad III decided to appease the Jews by dividing the world between the three major powers. North America was to go to the Spaniards, South America to the Portuguese, and Poland and parts of Germany to the Jews, a fact that the Germans resented.

The word won widespread usage when another leader, Adolf "El Jefe" Hitler discovered that the usage of such a word offended Jews. This discovery led most experts to believe AIDS was formed by the HIV virus. Jews worldwide protested that their homeland in Poland and Germany was being taken away and wanted new land, one that didn't have so many Nazis and Rabbits. So God agreed to give them a patch of forgotten desert in the Eastern Mediterranean. However Jewish sources deny that this agreement happened in the 20th century, but insist it happened in the 50th Century BC. Either way God really pissed off the Sand Niggas and they retaliated by killing the Jews. However the Jews sprinkled money at them and Jew Juice (See Coca Cola) and they were happy. What was this article about again...?

O yes, dozen.


In the Untied States and most countries, the word Dozen is synomimous with the number twelve. (With the notable exception of Canada and Australia, where it means "Fuck your mothers green but sublime pussy" and "Homosexual Petroleum" respectively)

Dozen in other Languages[edit]

English = Dozen

Spanish = Yo quiero taco bell

French = Je veux pas taco bell

Italian = Io voglio taco bell

Latin = Quæ est Tacum Bella?

Romanian = Milk, Milk, Limonata

German = Totalenbitschen Lüfschenfeighter, or Heistengrüngter Königschweighter

Dænish = Totaerbijer Løfjenfegter

Russian = ТДКУ БЕІІ???

Greek = Bloop Bloop Bleep Bliep

Arabic = صكڄتێڦڝشג

Hebrew = לסךמזץשװײוח

Asian = Deng bu ji xiang we shi zi wang (侵倰俎偢侮减冋冑別冏)

Polish = Pzescemo Czeschovisz Dzaviere Vasc Hirs

Queebish = Queeb Quee Qib Qua

Baker's Dozen[edit]

Dozen's evil cousin, born with the intent to confuse shoppers at bagel shops and bakerys