Dr. Pepper

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1886 photo of Dr. R.H.C. Pepper, the inventor of Dr. Pepper soft drink.

“There are 23 flavors. 23 times 3 is 69, so drinking three Dr. Peppers is the equivalent of having sex.”

~ Matthew Bellamy on Dr. Pepper

“The 23 flavors are a secret.”

~ Captain Obvious on Dr. Pepper

“Dr Pepper is my favorite drink because I love that I never know which of the 23 flavors I'll get.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Dr Pepper

“23... way to go overboard on the flavors jackass. ”

~ Pepsi on Dr. Pepper

“The mystery is the best part! No one will ever know the truth. ”

~ The viv on Dr. Pepper

“Which came first - God or Dr. Pepper. Who cares they are both fucking amazing!”

~ T-Co on Dr. Pepper

The famous "Dr. Pepper Poem" by Randy Newman

23 flavors, 2 words, one can, Dr. Pepper

i love Dr. Pepper with all my heart

its taste cannot be described as tart

however i consider it art

I can't think which flavor is the best part

once i finish a can i always want to restart

when i drink it for breakfast it gives me a kick start

when i drink it for lunch it makes me smart

when i drink it for dinner it makes me fart

i only purchase Dr. P from walmart

Me and Dr. P will never be found apart

Dr. Pepper is a popular soft drink/soda, invented by Ronald Hieronymous Clarence Pepper, PhD. Marketed in North and South America, Europe and parts of Antarctica, it is known for its unique, suspicious taste. According to the lore, it contains 23 secret flavours none of which are said to be meant for human consumption. The current slogan, "Drink it Slow. Dr.'s Orders", which replaced "I Want It All", while often thought to be part of re-inventing the brand, was actually added after ultimatum issued by FDA. BITCH!


On an early spring day in 1885, casual inventor Ronald Pepper was experimenting with various adhesives, trying to make plastic lenses for rifle sights. What he created was a substance that was impossible to work with, because it didn't stick to anything. Disappointed, he moved the container full of useless brown liquid to a desk, and started over with another formula. Alerted by slobbery noises coming from behind him, he caught a glimpse of his dog cleaning up the last drops of his failed creation from the container. Concerned, he took the animal to a vet who didn't find anything wrong with the animal.

As further testing was needed, Pepper made some more of the mixture, and fed it to his wife. Favourable review and no noticeable ill effects later, he decided to patent the liquid as a beverage. Despite a slow start, the uniquely flavoured drink found it's following during the late 1800s.

The Legacy Lives On[edit]

Dr. Pepper's death in 1965 caused some confusion and panic among the company. Pepper took the original recipe to his grave, and as the existing reservoirs started to run out, company management called in an emergency meeting regarding future production. A classified decision was made to purchase raw Coca Cola in secrecy, and flavour it with 23 readily available, cheap ingredients such as antifreeze, elderberry juice, sodium chloride and turpentine. Changes went unnoticed by consumers for 30 years, when the original recipe was finally discovered by Ronald Pepper's estate. In 1996 the company returned to use Pepper's ingredients for the beverage. As the public complained about the "new" taste of the drink, the company reverted back to 1965 formula and have stuck with it to the day.

Lot of the classified details in the company's history was revealed in 2003 when Charles Alderton, CEO of Dr. Pepper corporation since 1965, retired and released his memoirs.


Many conspiracy theories have been raised over the exact ingredients of Dr. Pepper soft drinks. Rumours identifying some of the 23 flavours ranged from cat urine to battery acid and most substances in between. In a statement released in 1969, the company said their drink "contains no such things", which did little to stop the gossiping.

Also there have been stories that the number 23 also has an important significance for Doctor Pepper . It represents one half of the total amount of chromosomes that are present in the cells of all humans. So the suggestion is that you only need one strand of DNA - rather than the standard two - to understand the taste of Doctor Pepper's drink.

A picture taken moments before the piano picnic tragedy. Sadly the mother and her children died shortly after, but at least they died in style.

The Plano Picnic Tragedy[edit]

In March 2006, employees from Dr. Pepper corporation were gathered for a picnic at Haggard Park in Plano, Texas. An hour or so into the festivities, the extreme heat experienced that day caused a 2,000 gallon tank of carbonated beverage to explode, with dire consequences. The shrapnels from the container killed 3 people, further 5 drowned and 13 were severly injured. The explosion shattered the windows of nearby businesses, from 17th Street to 13th Street. Extensive flood damage was caused by the sticky beverage, amassing to $13 million.

The company released a statement expressing their condolences to the families of the victims, but refused to take any responsibility for the incident.

Push It Real Good[edit]

Doctor Pepper briefly teamed up with Doctor Decimus Salt to release a dance album in the 1950s - The Taste of Doctor Pepper and Doctor Salt. It didn't sell many copies until its tunes were stolen by a girl rap group in the 1980s.

Some hooligans going wild with one of Dr. Peppers many flavors.

0 Grams Trans Fat[edit]

In 2006, the Dr. Pepper Company launched a marketing campaign announcing that the drink is now completely free of trans fats. Despite the fact that it never contained lipids of any kind to begin with, the campaign proved to be a success for the company. As sales numbers started to soar, the company continued with followup announcements declaring Dr. Pepper no longer contains traces of lead, mercury, strontium, arsenic or dissolved rodent faeces.

Spin Offs[edit]

In 2008, Dr. Pepper Corporation produced a variant of the substance called Dr. Pepper Spray. Aimed at women, law enforcement agents and bounty hunters, instead of the other way around as originally planned, the product raised too much negative publicity and lead to the end of the production in just 2 months.

A talk show titled "Dr. Pepper" ("23 flavours of stupidity, and he's not even a real doctor") was planned in 2006. The show was supposed to cover a wide variety of topics, such as weight loss, financial planning, relationship problems, rebellious teenagers, dysfunctional families, paleontological discoveries and ritual cannibalism. The show did poorly in early screening sessions, and was quickly dropped.

Sex Applications[edit]

When most people think of Dr. Pepper, anal sex is the last thing on their minds. However, in the late 1980s as HIV was peaking in growth amongst the gay community, homosexual scientists explored options for cleaning anuses prior to penile intrusion. Dr. Pepper, with its medical branding, high carbonation, and acidic pH was an obvious choice for a sort of anal aperitif for removing crusty fecal chunks and retroviruses alike.

While initial clinical studies involving homosexual men engaging in anonymous unprotected anal sex showed that men who douched with Dr. Pepper enjoyed a 27% lower chance of contracting HIV and a 34% higher chance of getting their "salads tossed", the same men were over twice as likely to become obese and over three times as likely to contract diabetes. This was doubly true for the kids and teenagers taking place in the study who fell prey to the juvenile version of diabetes.

In 2007 the FDA banned the use of Dr. Pepper in gay sex and sodomites world wide have since adopted similar sexual practices using Pepsi, Mellow Yellow, and other soft drinks marketed towards the homosexual community.