Dropping hints

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Dropping hints is a time-tested approach to not speaking your mind or doing anything at all practical to get others to understand what you want and/or how you feel, because after-all, it’s all about you, isn’t it?

History (England, 1601-)[edit]

Dropping hints was invented in 1710 by British people who felt guilty over every little thing that that was, prior to this, deemed unimportant and meaningless.

As a result of this new trend towards “caring about the uncarable”, dropping hints was developed as a full-fledged social movement by order of Queen Queenerson the III. It caught on quickly with the weak and cowardly British peoples and has lasted as a way of life there ever since. Occasionally, order of this type will be disrupted by a Scotsman in search of a toilet.

It should be noted that while the English might die of embarrassment over asking a stranger for the time, they feel no such discomfort when killing the Irish.

Dropping Hints Comes to the American Workplace (1980-)[edit]

Dropping hints remained absent in North America for some 360 years, as it was not originally on-board the Mayflower (a boat full of boat-people) in 1621. Thus, the minds and behaviorisms of the American peoples would remain untarinished until it finally arrived in the form of the technology boom of the 1980’s.

This was a time when American workers found themselves inexplicably in the dim fluorescent lit cubicled office world for 40 to 60 hours a week away instead of the more traditional, humane jobs of the past. The office world was a place where no one knew who they were working for. As a result of this, workers were often afraid to speak their mind in case their boss, whoever that might be, was in the very same room as them.

Speculation ran rampant at this time, not just about the identity of his or her possible employer(s) but the identity of everyone in the place. Are they gay? Are they Satanists? Are they gay Satanists?... And eventually,

Cquote1.png Am I a gay Satanist? Cquote2.png

Interestingly enough, this type of speculation was often not expressed verbally, as this could easily get you into trouble with someone or something. Instead this was communicated via a series whimpers, ticks, and empty conversation (“How’s the weather” could very well mean “Who are you, really?”)

While most wondered how they got there, all wondered how long it would all last. The answer? Forever.

Present Day[edit]

Things got much worse.

Dropping Hints: HowTo[edit]

Subtlety is key to dropping hints. Subtlety and dropping hints go hand-in-hand. In fact, not being subtle is what gives you cancer.

The rule of thumb for dropping hints is as follows: Whatever you think or feel or want or would like from others you should always present it to them in the most inconsequential, roundabout manner possible.

Proper thinking mandates that to get from Point A to Point C, you must first travel past Point B.

Dropping hints differs in this approach, as the point structure that works in tandem with the idea of subtlety allows for far greater flexibility.

While dropping hints you can go from Point L to Point W to Point G to Point Q, it doesn’t matter. What does matter is that the person you are dropping hints to will eventually take hold of the metaphysical wheel you are spinning and return it to Point A.

Mathematically, it works like this:

Fun Facts[edit]

  • Dropping hints is way all the world's women communicate
  • Dropping hints is how 98.9% of Americans choose to exchange thoughts and ideas
  • Without dropping hints, they would have never married you in the first place
  • Without dropping hints, they might never leave

See also[edit]