Dylan Argus

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Because of their so-called intelligence, the so-called experts at Wikipedia will never have a proper article about Dylan Argus. We are sorry for their blatant retardedness.
Dylan Argus, getting pissed off at yet another interviewer around 1998.

Dylan Argus is the bassist for the famous band Dai To. He is recognized by many Willy Wonka clones as the sexiest man alive; as such he is the most popular member of the band. Argus was born in 2007, but an accident with a time machine sent him back to 1944 when he was only 17 years old. When he made it to school during that year, he met Bill Cosby and Stu Pickles, and formed Dai To together.

Argus is well-known for an accident in 1964, when he died of a triple heart attack on stage. He was revived by Darth Tamia's muscular arms, but many of Argus' fans think otherwise.

His bandmates were jealous of his sexy looks, and in 1980, both Cosby and Pickles underwent plastic surgery to have their faces resemble that of Argus. The novelty wore off in 1984.