Dysfunctionalism

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Dysfunctionalism is a broad term for a range of personality disorders as defined by the American Lunatic Fringe, a powerful group of psychiatrists identified by their distinctive hairstyles. Acccording to ALF, you are suffering from dysfunctionalism if you manifest four or more of the following characteristics:

  • optimism
  • love
  • generosity
  • loyalty
  • obsessive honesty
  • gratitude, or
  • originality

Research has shown that ostensibly 'normal' people, i.e. the majority, almost never manifest more than three of these characteristics. The argument is that there must be something seriously dysfunctional about people who do. The most effective treatment for dysfunctionalism so far discovered is the notorious ASBO immersion, which can be 100% effective in about 50% of cases.

Not to be confused with: