Eating Shit For Charity

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It is generally unknown, but there is a fast-growing and well-publicised phenomenon that has been steadily increasing across the universe for the last 8 minutes. This concept is simply this - people could get other people to sponsor them to eat shit, and then give the money to charity. You're probably thinking "What the fuck?", so just take a minute to think about it, then move on to the next paragraph.

Thought About It? Good.[edit]

Can you think of someone who would not giggle and then rush to give money to you, if you said that you will eat shit for money? People will generally pay the money, for the following reasons:

  1. They are intrigued to see what a person will look like eating shit
  2. They don't believe you will eat shit, so pay you to find out if you will.
  3. They are sadistic individuals who want to see you suffer by making you ingest your own shit.
  4. They will derive sexual pleasure from watching you eat shit.

These are only a few reasons. The basic conclusion you should derive from this is:

PEOPLE WILL PAY TO SEE YOU EAT SHIT.

What To Do With The Money[edit]

It is my personal opinion that if you use this idea to obtain money, then you should follow my orders and give your earnings to charity. Alternatively, you could use it to buy a knife/rope/car/rock/gun/pineapple/fat man/aspirin tablets/cyanide with which to kill yourself in order to rid yourself of the shame from the fact that you have eaten your own shit. A better option is possibly to buy a fuckload of marijuana and smoke the afore-mentioned fuckload of it. Upon reflection, this last option is probably the best. I guess the new conlusion is this:

EATING SHIT BAD.
CHARITY OPTIONABLY GOOD.
MARIJUANA ALWAYS GOOD.