Many important things happened in the year of our lord Eighteenblippettysix. Here are some of the less interesting ones.
- The British monarchy goes through a profound existential crisis, reasoning that if existence proceeds essence in all thinking beings, then they are essentially about as useful as a stick of chewing gum made out of fucking mahogany. The problem is solved by only allowing royal personages to mate with tadpoles for the next two hundred years.
- Karl Marx invents poor people, the filthy blackguard.
- Stick poking is at an all-time high.
- There was a big war with bombs and planes and explosions and skulls and things and one of the skulls got exploded by a man who went DAKA-DAKA-DAKA-NEEEOWWW!!! and the skull went up in the air and hit another man on the head and he died with lots of blood. It was brilliant.
- Serious men with beards sit around a table and discuss something or other.
- Homo Sapiens finally lose their vestigal third knacker.
- Charles Babbage slaughters an entire Bedouin tribe single-handed, and fashions a prototype computer from their still-glistening remains, thus cursing all who touch such a device from now until Judgment Day.
- Your mum copulates with every citizen of the Ottoman Empire.