From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to: navigation, search
Eindhoven after the great flood.

Eindhoven is the largest and the oldest city of the Netherlands, but it is just a tiny bit smaller than Stratum. Crime rate in Eindhoven lies at about 103.42%. This number also says something of the inhabitants of Eindhoven, but scientists are still arguing what exactly that 'something' is. The city is famous worldwide for its educational concentration camp of technology, better known as the TU/e. The railwaystation is built very close to this facility so highly educated individuals can easily be deported from other cities in the country.



Current estimations say it has a population of about three million kittens and seven million ducks. It is also a well known fact that all living creatures in Eindhoven have a reduced life span of five years. This means you will not see any children under the age of five, because theoretically they haven't been born yet. Theoretically. On the upside however, you won't notice any one-day flies or a lot of other annoying insects. One exception is the fruit fly. These flies are able to survive in the harsh conditions of Eindhoven under the age of five.


Kawouter's Butt, founder of modern Eindhoven.

Eindhoven is founded by farmers lead by the inspiring leader: Fritske. He united the little villages that together made Eindhoven the place it is now. In 2005 Kawouter, often called "Fritske" died at the age of -100,7 . he was often seen wearing a tutu.


Eindhoven is the future capital of the Netherlands, after the big flood of 2017, which will wipe the western part of the country and kill most of the three million kittens. A few other small villages will survive the flood too, but will be highly dependent on Eindhoven, for example Tilburg aan zee, a village that is not quite as AWESOME as Eindhoven.

Since the King of Orange (also known as "prince pils") has died, Frits Philips will be reanimated to recover the throne.

Little known facts[edit]

Some often unknown facts of the beloved city of Eindhoven

  • Eindhoven is situated in the province called Brabant. The current capital of Brabant is 's-Hertogenbosch.
    A picture of "the Evoluon", a defective flying saucer.
  • The Prime Minister and ministers and house of commons already have their meetings and residences in Eindhoven, while their images are projected in the Binnenhof, the Hague, via holographic devices made by Philips.
  • A huge device, cloaked as a building called the Evoluon is used for transmitting the high amounts of Holographic data required for this practice.
  • Leonie van Hulzen is the current Miss Eindhoven, though she does not live there.
  • Most of the PSV-supporters yelling HOERUUHH in the stadion are not even inhabitants of this city. Most of them come from little villages in Limburg, or Limland. They are HOERUUHH themselves! hoer
  • Eindhoven is the swimming capital of the European Union. Dutch superstar swimmers Pieter van den Hoogenband (the longest name in the planet) and a sexy swimmer Inge de Bruijn (your potential love of your life) has owned a mansion here.
  • That city is the second city of freak Sevilla FC "Biris" with people as the man with chorizo with "eggs" and the people with the tortilla papas in tupperware and the collection of sevillanas CD. This city in Aandalú is called JEINDOVÉ and is the official city of Umbrella IKEA Cup.In Benavente language PSV is "Pá Sevilla vá".
  • Eindhoven's sister cities are Omaha, Nebraska and Baltimore, Maryland.