Eleventh Ring of Hell
“I traveled there once. I got the nicest refrigerator magnet there..”
THE ELEVENTH RING OF HELL was Mentioned originally in Dante's Inferno, First Edition, it was later thrown out, unused and abused, and did not make it into the Second Edition that we read today. The Eleventh ring of Hell is directly below Satan and is reserved for sinners who have starred in cheesy 80's action movies (such as Top Gun), had bad hair, and impersonated Jesus. The Eleventh Ring is guarded by Oprah Winfrey's retarded baby brother and sister, Anne, who has no control of his or her bowels and will urinate/defecate on any intruders, such as Dante. The sinners in the Eleventh Ring of Hell must watch "Lethal Weapon" 1-4 in Chinese for all eternity while being smacked in the face by giant lactating cow udders. If you haven't already guessed the only sinner of the eleventh ring of hell is Mel Gibson. Here is an excerpt from Dante's Inferno, Fist Edition, entitled "Canto MXXXCVIII": The Eleventh Ring of Hell:
The Eleventh Ring of Hell
As we entered the eleventh ring of hell
I thought about the Jews in the tenth ring
and how their bellies would forever swell
Anne, Oprah Winfrey's retarded sister
greeted us in a fit of duh, POTatOS, CARROT STIKZ!!
and cringed in pain at the sight of my master
Don't put that truck in the SOY SAUCE!
Anne exclaimed in terror
while Virgil stood back, in a state of remorse
Here sits Mel Gibson in all of his homosexual glory
said Virgil almost titillated with delight
He impersonated Jesus in a film that was far to gory.
Get down Mr. Man there is a bomb in the fish
said a crazed Mel Gibson with udders in his face
Virgil leaped out and decapitated Mel Gibson in a swish!
We walked from the room with udders in tow,
Gibson was nowhere to be seen.
Behind us, a new Mel rose from the floor.
Then my master approached me in a fit of delight
You High nigger! You got raped by a horse
And then I woke up, realizing I had smoked weed all night!