Emilie de Ravin

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“Claire must strip and slowly lather herself in baby oil to protect the island”

~ Lost writers on Lost's final episode.

“I'm so hot i would fuck me if i could”

~ Emilie de Ravin on Emilie de Ravin.
For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Emilie de Ravin.
The first thing men see upon reaching heaven.

Emilie de Ravin born December 27, 1981, is an Australian actress and officially the hottest woman to have ever lived. OK, one of the hottest women ever to have lived. OK, she's not actually that hot. The title "Perfect Woman" had never before been held, as it was thought that there was no "Perfect Woman", but after seeing Emilie on Lost the judges travelled via submarine to the island to her the award, she then proceeded to thank them by showing them the "special talent" that's kept her on the show for so long. As well as this honour she was also chosen by God to be the model for the perfect pair of legs, a task which has granted her the power to give men spontanious erections whenever she chooses to wear shorts. However, the judges were forced to cancel their decision to give her the award after realising that she's as flat as an ironing board (has no boobs). Out of respect for her skills as an "actress", they gave her the ceremonial title " sex angel, high priestess of blowjobs and sexy legs ambassador"

Early Life[edit]

Warning. Clicking on this photo will cause the uncontrollable desire to lick the screen.

Emilie was born in Victoria, Australia, and in a shocking and unforeseen character connection, was actually delivered by a young Terry O'Quinn. As a teenager she gained an interest in acting after watching Matthew Fox on party of five for hours on end, dreaming of one day playing his half sister, she would eventually begin studying acting at the Australian theatre institute where she studied alongside Kristie Mitchell, sister of future strandee Elizabeth Mitchell.

After graduating Emilie found it hard to gain work, however during a drunken night out she ended up in a back alley with the second cousin of Dominic Monaghan, it was at this moment, while scraping her angelic knees on the sidewalk begging him to finish in her mouth that she discovered she had outstanding "oral skills", deciding to use this new found talent to her advantage Emilie began working on the porn circuit.

Things went well for a while and she spent 4 months getting work and making good money until one day Emilie met a strange man named Jacob who told her about a role being cast in Los Angeles for a pregnant woman who survives a plane crash, realising this could be her big chance she decided to go for the role, but not before first "finishing off" Jacob.

However in a cruel twist of fate, Emilie's acting dream was put on hiatus when traveling to Los Angeles for the audition, her plane crashed on an uncharted island somewhere in the south pacific.

After crash landing she gathered up the survivors to show them how hot her legs were, everyone on the island orgasmed immediately upon seeing them. Later that night strange noises were heard from the jungle, after some discussion about whether or not there was a monster or perhaps a polar bear in the jungle it was discovered to be Emilie pleasuring a large group of the survivors with her mouth, but the combined load of spunk did not quench her thirst. Disappointed by this she ventured off into the jungle in search of satisfaction followed by the surviving passengers hypnotised by the glistening of her legs. While there she encountered a group of natives referring to themselves as the others, a potentially tense standoff between the two groups was however averted when Emilie dropped to her knees and proceeded to suck the tension out of every one of them.

Still not satisfied she continued on into the jungle where she eventually stumbled upon a mysterious hatch, the other castaways began theorising on whether or not dynamite would be enough to blow open the hatch, Emilie however found another door leading into it 8 feet away. While exploring the hatch she came across a frozen donkey wheel, although finding it strange that this would be here, she decided that she was so dick numbingly hot that she should turn it and see what happens.

Alternate Timeline[edit]

Initially disorientated and unsure of what had just happened, Emilie soon realised that turning the wheel had transported the island to an alternate timeline that was now host to the filming of a tv show called Lost, ironically about a plane crash on a mysterious island. She decided the best way of proceeding was to use her past acting experience and pretend she was playing a character on the show. The other actors were unsure if she had always been a cast member but the hypnotic effect of Emilie's legs convinced them otherwise. Eventually realising something had went wrong and that a potential paradox could occur she knew she had to get back to her own time, handily enough her castmate Jeremy Davies knew the location of a nuclear bomb on the island that if exploded would send her back to her own timeline, but would not tell her where it was no matter what she did, due to the dangers involved. In an attempt to get this information from him Emilie proceeded to "negotiate" with him, she broke him down after 15 seconds.

Upon reaching the site of the bomb she noticed there was an old ship lying next to it in the middle of the jungle, she briefly thought about trying to figure out how it got so far inland but decided the answer probably wouldnt be very satisfying so continued on with the plan the only way she knew how and sucked the bomb till it blew.

Back To The Island[edit]

Proof that leather was made for Emilie

After the white light faded Emilie came to the realisation that she was back in her own timeline and that she now understood the ultimate secret of the island. They had actually crashed on the mythical orgasm island and Jacob had sent her there because of her skills in "lip service". She only had 16 to stop Jacob's nemesis from destroying the world.

Quickly she travelled to the site of the four toed statue where she found him waiting,his anger at being unable to find a woman who could satisfy him bringing him to the brink of killing everyone. But Emilie's already expert talents combined with the islands unique magnetic properties gave her the power to crawl over to him and play him like a flute. Upon spunking the man in black breathed a sigh of pleasure letting Emilie know disaster had been averted. She mopped his love juice off her face with a slice of bread, ate the bread and then waited to be transported back to her proper place in time.

I have forgotten my name.

Acting On Lost[edit]

With the time loop now completed and the crisis averted, Emilie found herself back on her plane travelling to L.A. It was when she got there she realised how much the experience had made her forget about her love for acting. Deciding to give it her all she walked straight into the audition and proceeded to pleasure everyone in the room, after finishing by rubbing all 23 people in the rooms collective "love" all over her tits, she was given the job, convincing the producers to change the part from pregnant girl to island slut.

Emilie has been qouted as saying that she would like to try something different in future roles, moving away from the stereotype of island slut her next role will be as mainland slut on CSI: Balamory followed by a small cameo on Heroes as a superhero slut.

Personal Life[edit]

In her personal life Emilie enjoys working out at the gym as her sweat covered body turns her on like nothing else, she has also been known coat her legs in honey and then charge men to lick them clean while she masturbates to her unbelievable nude body in the mirror.

Emilie has also stated that she is desperate to get nude in an episode of Lost and is currently trying to convince the producers of the show to write a scene where Kate spends an entire episode eating her out in order to appease Jacob's nemesis.

Perfect Woman?[edit]

When the judges of the Perfect woman saw Emilie's legs on an episode of Lost they knew immediatly that she had to be given the award. Quickly travelling over to the set they found her tanning her delicious legs in the sun. After they cleaned up the spunk from their pants they presented her the award, Emilie was so overjoyed by this she decided she had to thank them all by giving them a demonstration of her "special mouth skills". Lowering down in front of each judge one after the other she proceeded to spend 42 minutes "blowing their minds", "sucking them into her world" and "swallowing their pride"... She gave them a blowjob. However, the judges were forced to cancel their decision to give her the award after realising that she's as flat as an ironing board. Out of respect for her skills as an "actress", they gave her the ceremonial title " sex angel, high priestess of blowjobs and sexy legs ambassador".

Sexiest Legs Ever[edit]

It's like they're hypnotising me

God developed the perfect legs after a strenuous long weekend working on blueprints in his toolshed. After a short audition process he decided to bestow them on Emilie de Ravin as the rest of her was so perfectly designed anyway it would give even God something to fantasise about. When asked about her perfect legs Emilie has been qouted as saying "i know, sometimes i just look at them all soaped up when i'm in the shower and they make me so horny i can't help but finger myself." It is theorised that just getting to touch Emilie's legs can trigger seiuzures in mortal men, one man who risked enough to kiss them is still in intensive care after the consuming orgasm almost killed him.


  • Emilie de Ravin is so far ahead of most other women, that she has her own categories of sex angel, high priestess of blowjobs and sexy legs ambassador.
  • People rumoured to have been in a relationship with Emilie include God, Sawyer, Naomi Watts and Oscar Wilde who is currently the only man who has filled her mouth with enough spunk to momentarily quench her thirst.
  • Emilie's legs actually have the power to bring about world peace, however she has so far she has not used this power as she has been too busy masturbating to herself in the mirror.
  • If you were ever to receive a blowjob from Emilie you would understand the meaning of life. To get blown by a smoking hot Aussie sex kitten with legs you would lick chocolate off.

See also[edit]

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